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Gwyneth Paltrow Shares Her Friendship Drama With British Vogue

How Do You Let Go of Hate?

Celebrities really are just like us. They have "frenemies" and "friendship divorces," but unlike regular folks, they have the ability to share these battles with the world. Take Gwyneth Paltrow. She has a tendency to reveal her friendship woes to the public, albeit without naming names. In the upcoming May British Vogue, she divulges:

"I'm having a situation right now with a friend where I'm feeling pretty angry. But revenge is corrosive and it doesn't make me feel good. . . I'll wake up in the morning and think, 'Ugh, I feel terrible', and suddenly realise, 'Ah, that's why. I'm holding on to so much hate.'"

There's a saying I heard once that really stuck with me. It goes: "Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." In other words, you only hurt yourself — not the person who has wronged you — when you harbor animosity. Are you good at letting a grudge go? If so, how do you do it?

Image Source: Getty
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ella1978 ella1978 6 years
That is actually a very strong and usefull statement. I need to let go of things.. but with certain people who have wronged me more than once.. that's when its hard... (ahem.. cough cough... boss.. cough cough...)
bryseana bryseana 6 years
I've never hated anyone honestly. There have been people in my life who have said and done hurtful things to me. But, I think it's important to let go of the past. No one stays the same. I have regretted some things I've said and done. I'm grateful to those who have forgiven me. No one is perfect - we're all human and slip up sometimes.I like the saying Sophia Petrillo used to describe anger - "It's like a piece of shredded wheat stuck in your dentures. If you leave it there it will cause a painful blister."
bryseana bryseana 6 years
I've never hated anyone honestly. There have been people in my life who have said and done hurtful things to me. But, I think it's important to let go of the past. No one stays the same. I have regretted some things I've said and done. I'm grateful to those who have forgiven me. No one is perfect - we're all human and slip up sometimes. I like the saying Sophia Petrillo used to describe anger - "It's like a piece of shredded wheat stuck in your dentures. If you leave it there it will cause a painful blister."
KadBunny KadBunny 6 years
Really hard for me to let go of hate. It takes a LOT to push me so when that line is crossed I just lose it, and while I can "forgive" I never, ever forget. I don't know if you can call that holding a grudge, I mean I don't tuck away bad memories in my heart and intentionally revisit them just to get mad at my leisure. I do try to let go (for my sake if anything) but sometimes it just feels.. so impossible. Especially when the other party doesn't even feel one ounce of remorse.I'd like to be at peace with certain people, but the best I can do for now is be at peace with the fact I never have to see them again. They're family too so it's really unfortunate. :\
KadBunny KadBunny 6 years
Really hard for me to let go of hate. It takes a LOT to push me so when that line is crossed I just lose it, and while I can "forgive" I never, ever forget. I don't know if you can call that holding a grudge, I mean I don't tuck away bad memories in my heart and intentionally revisit them just to get mad at my leisure. I do try to let go (for my sake if anything) but sometimes it just feels.. so impossible. Especially when the other party doesn't even feel one ounce of remorse. I'd like to be at peace with certain people, but the best I can do for now is be at peace with the fact I never have to see them again. They're family too so it's really unfortunate. :\
lickety-split lickety-split 6 years
My grandmother use to say "her load would be lighter if she put down that bag of hate she's carrying around". That being said, I only hate one person. And I totally embrace that hatred and, well, it's kind of like that new country song "I pray for you" :rotfl:
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
Let go of hate, let's see...In my lifetime, there are 3 people whom I dislike heavily/hate but I don't think about them on a daily basis or often at all. I lead a pretty happy/decent life, and I don't get stressed out thinking about those 3...They pop up during...articles like this (when I have to think about hate) or if a family member mentions either one of 'em.Yeah, time helps. De-emotionalizing the situation also helps. Playing the devil's advocate in your head sometimes helps with neutralizing the anger. Joking about it helps. But yeah, goodness helps 'em if they ever meet with me again ;)
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
Let go of hate, let's see...In my lifetime, there are 3 people whom I dislike heavily/hate but I don't think about them on a daily basis or often at all. I lead a pretty happy/decent life, and I don't get stressed out thinking about those 3... They pop up during...articles like this (when I have to think about hate) or if a family member mentions either one of 'em. Yeah, time helps. De-emotionalizing the situation also helps. Playing the devil's advocate in your head sometimes helps with neutralizing the anger. Joking about it helps. But yeah, goodness helps 'em if they ever meet with me again ;)
fuzzles fuzzles 6 years
Bacon. Lots and lots of lovely bacon.
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 6 years
I guess I learned to do it by just recognizing the difference in feelings. I hold on to it I feel like $hit. I let it go I feel a hell of a lot better and recognized why I felt better vs. feeling bad. Not a difficult choice to make in my book. Now that doesn't mean I forget or that I choose to allow that person in my life again. Forgiving is not a free ticket for the other person to ride. Personally I just let them go emotionally, fall out of caring any more if you will. That way my heart and feelings will never have to endure that blow again.
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 6 years
I try my best to cultivate compassion and understanding toward the person I'm holding a grudge against: What do we have in common? Well, we're both human and we both need the same things. We both want to be loved and accepted. Just thinking of that knocks my anger down a few notches.It doesn't always totally erase the bad feelings, but it helps.
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 6 years
I try my best to cultivate compassion and understanding toward the person I'm holding a grudge against: What do we have in common? Well, we're both human and we both need the same things. We both want to be loved and accepted. Just thinking of that knocks my anger down a few notches. It doesn't always totally erase the bad feelings, but it helps.
skigurl skigurl 6 years
agree, i can get over my hate, but that doesn't mean i become close again with the person in questioni can easily avoid, write you off, and move on without you even knowing what i'm thinking inside
skigurl skigurl 6 years
agree, i can get over my hate, but that doesn't mean i become close again with the person in question i can easily avoid, write you off, and move on without you even knowing what i'm thinking inside
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 6 years
I learn to forgive the other person (for my inner peace). Generally, I do NOT reconcile with the other person, as reconciliation and forgiveness are two separate issues. Forgiveness, yes. Reconciliation, generally, no.
Miss-Infamous Miss-Infamous 6 years
I have never HATED anyone but once someone screws me over ONCE its hard for me to even let them back into my life again! I dont give second chances really lol http://www.theinfamouslife.com/2010/03/online-dating-horror-stories/
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