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Gym Flirting: Is It Ogling or Just a Coincidence?

Group Therapy: Is It Ogling or Just a Coincidence?

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

What should someone do when a person won't stop staring? I don't mean staring as like not blinking and just looking.

Here is what happens: at my local gym there's a really attractive personal trainer, that all the girls want to talk to (not so much me). Sure at first I did have a little gym crush on him, but not any more, I just think he's attractive. The point is that whenever I'm at the gym and doing weights, he stares at me. I happen to look at him, just looking around, and I catch him looking at me every time, but the thing is that he won't talk to me or nothing in that area.

I don't know what he's doing, just looking around and it happens to be at the same time as me, or he just likes to observe me. I don't know!! What do you guys think?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.


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GregS GregS 5 years
Guy's perspective here... But first, HollyJ, this NEVER happens to me! Jeez, but I'd love it to happen! Guys need their ego's stroked from time to time. Specially us old foggies. :D Back on track. Have you ever had a set of something except one piece? Don't you kind of covet that one piece? All the ladies are ogling him, except you. Why not? What is it about you that you're not fawning over him like all the others? Could be that. Or he could just be a schmuck like the others above have said.
GregS GregS 5 years
Guy's perspective here... But first, HollyJ, this NEVER happens to me! Jeez, but I'd love it to happen! Guys need their ego's stroked from time to time. Specially us old foggies. :DBack on track.Have you ever had a set of something except one piece? Don't you kind of covet that one piece? All the ladies are ogling him, except you. Why not? What is it about you that you're not fawning over him like all the others? Could be that. Or he could just be a schmuck like the others above have said.
GTCB GTCB 5 years
Ha! This is definitely NOT just a coincidence. He's looking at you, and he's arrogant enough in this environment to believe he can get away with it with no repercussions. If it makes you uncomfortable you must confront him and tell him to stop. If he doesn't, he's a jerk, and you'll have to take the issue to the next level. This is a tough one I'm afraid. Good luck.
GTCB GTCB 5 years
Ha! This is definitely NOT just a coincidence. He's looking at you, and he's arrogant enough in this environment to believe he can get away with it with no repercussions. If it makes you uncomfortable you must confront him and tell him to stop. If he doesn't, he's a jerk, and you'll have to take the issue to the next level.This is a tough one I'm afraid. Good luck.
miss-krysta miss-krysta 5 years
I think that the next time you catch him, maybe go up to him and tell him you've noticed him looking at you, and ask him if there is a particular reason why. Maybe mention your there to work out and it distracts you when you know someone is looking at you all the time. :)
Carri Carri 5 years
I would just ask him what he's looking at. It seems a little forward, but staring at you while you're trying to work out is rude, IMO. You don't have to ask in a mean or bitchy way; just ask in a way that lets him know that you KNOW he's looking at you and you want to know why and want it to stop.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 5 years
The next time he stares (or you think he's looking) and you happen to catch him, just smile at him (friendly).Then go up to him after routine and say something along the line: 'I noticed you were looking at me when I was doing the weight, what do you think, did I do my form right?' (or whatever the term is)Basically letting him know you notice him staring at you in a more disarming way. I don't quite know how you do your weight lifting, you may be doing it wrong and he's 'itching' to let you know, but since you're not a client and you don't ask him, he can't tell you. After that, you guys may end up being friendly in the gym, you can openly say 'hi' and talk about anything, you may even get some free advice from him too! He may even stop staring now that you've broken the ice.Just watch out that he doesn't try to sell you supplement pills LOL --That always happens to me when I joined a gym :p But if you're interested in whatever they're selling, hey why not.Good luck.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 5 years
The next time he stares (or you think he's looking) and you happen to catch him, just smile at him (friendly). Then go up to him after routine and say something along the line: 'I noticed you were looking at me when I was doing the weight, what do you think, did I do my form right?' (or whatever the term is) Basically letting him know you notice him staring at you in a more disarming way. I don't quite know how you do your weight lifting, you may be doing it wrong and he's 'itching' to let you know, but since you're not a client and you don't ask him, he can't tell you. After that, you guys may end up being friendly in the gym, you can openly say 'hi' and talk about anything, you may even get some free advice from him too! He may even stop staring now that you've broken the ice. Just watch out that he doesn't try to sell you supplement pills LOL --That always happens to me when I joined a gym :p But if you're interested in whatever they're selling, hey why not. Good luck.
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