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Had Sex on Second Date

Group Therapy: I Had Sex Too Soon

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!


So Friday night I went on a second date with this very good-looking guy. We have tons in common and chemistry is crystal clear. However, because this guy is so handsome, putting two and two together and you are bounds to get a ladies' man. For that reason, my intention was to have my guard high up. Well things got pretty intense at the end of our second date and I ended up having sex with him even after I told him it was too soon. We talked about it and sure enough the deed was done. But now I still want to have him around. Not for a relationship just yet, but I'm really hoping to not be "tooted and booted." Any suggestions as to what I should do? Or is it all done with?

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Bubbles12 Bubbles12 4 years
You both went for it, did you feel pushed into it? If you didn't and your hormones got the best of you it's not a done deal. Back far away, give it time. If he pursues you tell him you're really busy for the next few weeks but call later. And stick to the 'busy' for a few weeks. You can definitely 'redo' the dance if he's truly interested in you.
wolfjinx25 wolfjinx25 4 years
I've been in this situation before and like everyone else says, he's only looking for sex. Hate to say it but he's not worth your time especially after you guys had the talk.
karlotta karlotta 4 years
Contrary to the ladies up there, I don't think that getting carried away in the moment even after having had a "let's hold our horses" talk means the guy has no character. It happens, when there's chemistry and you're fooling around and it just feels natural. Only you can tell if you feel like he pushed you (which you didn't say) or if it just happened anyway because you both got carried away in the moment. Just be natural and normal and casual. I've had sex with guys on the first or second date and I was never NOT called back. If you have self-confidence and don't get weird or clingy, and if you guys had fun (before and/or after the boning part) and enjoyed each other's company, then I see no reason why he wouldn't stick around to see where it goes. Even players sometimes like girls for more than their vagina. So just rest easy and act normal. If he's a douche, you'll know soon enough, but it's not set in stone just yet.
lizkasper lizkasper 4 years
Agreed. This guy has no one's best interests in mind but his own. Someone out there will respect you, and you deserve it!
henna-red henna-red 4 years
He has already disregarded your wishes. He's looking for sex, he's had sex, if he wants more sex, he will call you. If he is a guy who is just looking for conquests, then you won't hear from him again, and that is a good thing. Doesn't matter how good looking he is, I know how tempting it is to just look at outside beauty. He doesnt have the integrity to respect your wishes. I hope that counts something for you. Doesn't sound like it is. I hope you had safe sex.
pax4pax pax4pax 4 years
passion8 sounds right. He doesn't have character, so, can't be trusted now or in the future.
passion8 passion8 4 years
if you talked about not having sex before having sex and he still persued you sexually after the discussion, that kinda says alot about him and that he is not relationship material because he lacks the ability for the chemistry to build until its right for both of you and he seeks instant gratification whiich further leads to affairs during a relationship.it also shows how much he respects women and their decisionsns if he cant wait until both of you are ready. i have dealt with men like that and my personal opinion is that they are great manipulators because they talk it but dont walk it and they know how to push womens buttons to make them sexually weak and take advantage of that and then walk away saying she had a choice she said she did not want sex now but did it anyways and then say she is weak i cant invest in that or whatever, so i would really watch his behavior and ask specific questions not open ended questions that allow room for interpretations and base my decision of his behavior and answers to specific questions, and i would be very clear with myself with what i will and will not tolerate and know how to act according to what is okay or not okay from a man. for example, my last bf i clearly told him it is very important for my to be courted. i like the feeling of being dated, so after two dates he expected me to be his 'house wife' and perform all these duties w/benefits and not court me so i distanced my self and set up dates and offered for us to do together and he turned it down so i driffted away not returning his calls until he got the message we are over. he was not the man for me because he was not willing to invest in me like i was him.
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