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Handle This: He Likes You, but You Like His Brother

Recently you met a great guy through a friend of yours. Even though you haven’t felt that extra spark yet, you’ve still been giving it a try since he’s such a good guy and you enjoy his company.

When he invites you over to his brother’s house for a BBQ, you find yourself incredibly attracted to his brother, not him. You guys have a ton in common and you definitely get the vibe from him, even though he seems very aware that you’re his brother’s date. You want to go for it, but you don’t know how you can, so how do you handle this?

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ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 7 years
I don't agree with bluestar, I think telling him that you're interested in his brother would make things awkward for them... what if they have some sibling rivalry thing going? I would suggest talking to the guy you're dating first to see where you guys stand and how he thinks things are going. If he seems unsure too then open up the playing field for both of you by dating non-exclusively. Then there shouldn't be as many hard feelings if things take off with the brother and not with him.Of course, if this actually happened to me, I don't know if I'd be as considerate... I'd probably just drop it and go for the brother... =P
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 7 years
I don't agree with bluestar, I think telling him that you're interested in his brother would make things awkward for them... what if they have some sibling rivalry thing going? I would suggest talking to the guy you're dating first to see where you guys stand and how he thinks things are going. If he seems unsure too then open up the playing field for both of you by dating non-exclusively. Then there shouldn't be as many hard feelings if things take off with the brother and not with him. Of course, if this actually happened to me, I don't know if I'd be as considerate... I'd probably just drop it and go for the brother... =P
katiedid0985 katiedid0985 7 years
Well if his brother is a decent guy he won't go out with you, so you're probably not going to get anywhere with him (plus would you really want to date a guy who would choose a new girl over his brother?). See if it works with the original guy and if not leave them both alone.
Chloe08 Chloe08 7 years
Haha, wow, this actually happened to me in college!I just kind of let the relationship with the "date" fizzle, and slowly started spending more time with his brother. The original date finally got the hint and ended up getting back with his ex. No harm, no foul.
Chloe08 Chloe08 7 years
Haha, wow, this actually happened to me in college! I just kind of let the relationship with the "date" fizzle, and slowly started spending more time with his brother. The original date finally got the hint and ended up getting back with his ex. No harm, no foul.
princess_eab princess_eab 7 years
Ugh. I don't know about this one. In real life, I would probably walk away and not look back. Too many factors involved. Some other course of action might be preferred by braver souls...
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 7 years
I would leave the BBQ and never talk to either one of them again. You obviously cant date the brother, and you didn't like the original guy, so call it quits.
Jude-C Jude-C 7 years
Why is this dude flirting (which is how it sounds) with his brother's date?
bluestar bluestar 7 years
Maybe the guy doesn't feel sparks either, but is still hanging out for the same reasons. I would just tell the guy I was feeling his brother more and if he freaked then I wouldn't date either!
MissJules5x MissJules5x 7 years
i think it would be such a low thing for you to just dump the guy to be with his brother. if you say he's such a great guy why would you want to hurt him and also make things awkward with his brother? i think that you need to cut things off with the guy that you are seeing and find someone else.
AyrtonSenna AyrtonSenna 7 years
This is why I am happy to only have a sister...If I had to compete with a brother who also shared my incredible genes and upbringing it could get awkward and difficult...As to the question though - start moving the guy into the dreaded (for us) "friend zone" and start to move closer to the brother. It may have to be a medium- to long-term project but it is doable. While you are putting the first guy in the friend zone, also consider girls you know that may like him. That would divert him away effectively and leave you with a clearer run at the brother.It's all just basic tactics out of Sun Tzu.
AyrtonSenna AyrtonSenna 7 years
This is why I am happy to only have a sister... If I had to compete with a brother who also shared my incredible genes and upbringing it could get awkward and difficult... As to the question though - start moving the guy into the dreaded (for us) "friend zone" and start to move closer to the brother. It may have to be a medium- to long-term project but it is doable. While you are putting the first guy in the friend zone, also consider girls you know that may like him. That would divert him away effectively and leave you with a clearer run at the brother. It's all just basic tactics out of Sun Tzu.
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 7 years
lol... I could.:D
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 7 years
lol... I could. :D
lms lms 7 years
I wouldn't go for the brother. That would be very awkward for them. This is slightly different, but one of my ex's brothers had a thing for me and we both knew it. We were really good friends but the attraction was not there on my side. Also, my husbands brother made a comment recently that made me think he may have had a thing for me. He is also totally not my type. I just couldn't see starting out dating one and going to the other one though.
lms lms 7 years
I wouldn't go for the brother. That would be very awkward for them. This is slightly different, but one of my ex's brothers had a thing for me and we both knew it. We were really good friends but the attraction was not there on my side. Also, my husbands brother made a comment recently that made me think he may have had a thing for me. He is also totally not my type. I just couldn't see starting out dating one and going to the other one though.
smurfle smurfle 7 years
haha. this is the plot to the movie "Dan in Real Life". She ended up with the brother. lol
gemsera gemsera 7 years
you could always have both!! LOL But in all seriousness, go for the brother. just let him know your interested and cut contact with the first gently. if something happens great, if not move on :)
gemsera gemsera 7 years
you could always have both!! LOLBut in all seriousness, go for the brother. just let him know your interested and cut contact with the first gently. if something happens great, if not move on :)
omilawd omilawd 7 years
I would keep contact with both of them to a minimum. I wouldn't want to strain a family bond, especially over two guys who I barely know.
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 7 years
I would go for his brother. You only live once...what if he's meant to be "the one"?
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