Skip Nav
Women
Read 'Em and Weep! 49 Tattoos Inspired by Famous Books
Women
17 Typewriter-Font Tattoos For the Girl Who Has a Way With Words
Relationships
Spice Up Your Relationship With This 30-Day Challenge

Handle This: He's More Interested in Porn

Handle This: He's More Interested in Porn

In the past few months your sex life has all but dried up. You’re always trying to initiate things, and you’ve even gone so far as to buy sexy new lingerie, but nothing seems to get your boyfriend interested. When you ask him about it, he says he’s sleep deprived and stressed out.

One night you wake up and realize he’s no longer in bed. Following sounds coming from the living room, you peek in to find him masturbating to porn on his computer, when you haven't had sex in a month! How would you handle this?

Source

Around The Web
Join The Conversation
Girl101 Girl101 6 years
Assuming I wanted to work it out, I would ask if I could watch it with him. Then, I would try to work some real life situations into the movie. Try some of the things they were doing, or ask if he would like me to do that or wear that. Porn should be used to enhance a relationship, not substitute for it. Give it some time and understanding, maybe he has performance concerns or other issues. However, after a while and if it did not change, I would break-up to find someone who wanted to be with me rather than a computer.
candace87 candace87 7 years
Princess, I agree it wasn't a good excuse at all:) haha. Especially these days, almost every kid has seen some kind of porn by that age or atleast a nude picture. There were a few other things people had said on the show I cant really remember.. but that guy's situation was just unfortunate he couldn't watch a scene on TV with characters kissing without having to.. relieve himself.
candace87 candace87 7 years
Princess, I agree it wasn't a good excuse at all:) haha. Especially these days, almost every kid has seen some kind of porn by that age or atleast a nude picture. There were a few other things people had said on the show I cant really remember.. but that guy's situation was just unfortunate he couldn't watch a scene on TV with characters kissing without having to.. relieve himself.
sparklestar sparklestar 7 years
I think it would be time for a discussion. Then again my boyfriend will watch porn "casually" like he'll open it up in a separate window or something when he's on the net. He actually spends FAR LONGER looking for the porn than actually jerking it to the porn. I am fairly sure he only watches porn when I am in the room anyway. I don't think I would care all that much. It depends on the kind of porn I guess? If he was getting up in the middle of the night to jerk it to seriously messed up porn then we'd have an issue. Otherwise I'd just guilt trip him about it for weeks. :p I walked in on my ex jerking it to 4chan when I came back home early one day. That was pretty hilarious.
sparklestar sparklestar 7 years
I think it would be time for a discussion. Then again my boyfriend will watch porn "casually" like he'll open it up in a separate window or something when he's on the net. He actually spends FAR LONGER looking for the porn than actually jerking it to the porn. I am fairly sure he only watches porn when I am in the room anyway.I don't think I would care all that much. It depends on the kind of porn I guess? If he was getting up in the middle of the night to jerk it to seriously messed up porn then we'd have an issue. Otherwise I'd just guilt trip him about it for weeks. :pI walked in on my ex jerking it to 4chan when I came back home early one day. That was pretty hilarious.
DarlingDA DarlingDA 7 years
I know sometimes I masturbate (although it's sans porn due to my fertile imagination :) ) when I can't sleep, or when I'm stressed, even if the boyfriend is available, and I know he does the same sometimes. This sounds a little different though, and you need to sit down for a most likely awkward talk about it. It may be that he's just gotten lazy - a lot of times it's quicker and easier, although not nearly as enjoyable, to get off yourself rather than have sex, but not constantly. Maybe you could try putting on a sexy video and initiating things with him - it doesn't even have to be porn (personally, I like "Unfaithful" with Diane Lane and Richard Gere since it's a thriller and has good sex scenes, both of which get me going).
DarlingDA DarlingDA 7 years
I know sometimes I masturbate (although it's sans porn due to my fertile imagination :) ) when I can't sleep, or when I'm stressed, even if the boyfriend is available, and I know he does the same sometimes. This sounds a little different though, and you need to sit down for a most likely awkward talk about it. It may be that he's just gotten lazy - a lot of times it's quicker and easier, although not nearly as enjoyable, to get off yourself rather than have sex, but not constantly.Maybe you could try putting on a sexy video and initiating things with him - it doesn't even have to be porn (personally, I like "Unfaithful" with Diane Lane and Richard Gere since it's a thriller and has good sex scenes, both of which get me going).
princess_eab princess_eab 7 years
Candace - lots of kids "accidentally" see porn at a young age - that's not an excuse for him. How ridiculous! I know you're repeating what you saw on the show, but that's like saying because I read a sexy romance novel with steamy love scenes at age 9, I'm a sex addict. My ex saw porn when he was little and he wasn't addicted to porn... it happens, with kids who have older brothers or negligent parents...
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 7 years
I would ask him the sex was REALLY that bad. I'd chat to him and ask him to stop but if he didn't he'd be up dookie creek without a paddle.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 7 years
I would ask him the sex was REALLY that bad.I'd chat to him and ask him to stop but if he didn't he'd be up dookie creek without a paddle.
gemsera gemsera 7 years
depends who it is. my beau now wouldnt dare, he barely watches it with me let alone on his own. so it wouldnt be an issue but a new beau? kick his ass to the street. not worth it. I would not be interested in fixing anyone.
gemsera gemsera 7 years
depends who it is. my beau now wouldnt dare, he barely watches it with me let alone on his own. so it wouldnt be an issuebut a new beau? kick his ass to the street. not worth it. I would not be interested in fixing anyone.
candace87 candace87 7 years
Today when I was flipping through channels I caught an episode of the Tyra Show :oops: and it was about sex addiction. There was a man who wouldn't have sex with his wife (newlyweds) and she said she was going out, the place was closed so she came back and walked in on him doing this. Apparently it was because he was exposed to porn at eight years old. So who knows what his reasoning is? If its becoming a huge problem then counseling is probably the way to go, if its a new relationship then.. he might not be interested in you? Maybe the spark is gone and its time to rethink the relationship.
kellysully kellysully 7 years
I experienced this scenario firsthand. He was embarassed, but his increase in having "real" sex never improved. He just wasn't into having sex with me.
Computertechno Computertechno 7 years
As a guy, I think that this is really uncalled for. I can't even image the pain that my girl would feel if I did that to her. That being said, I do know some guys that avoid sex with their partners for a few different reasons. Either because they still feel embarrassed about their performance, or sexually their needs aren't fulfilled.
minnie1127 minnie1127 7 years
haha, k8. i'd be pissed. it would definitely be time for a serious talk about what's going on. he couldn't expect to get away with ditching me for porn.
minnie1127 minnie1127 7 years
haha, k8.i'd be pissed. it would definitely be time for a serious talk about what's going on. he couldn't expect to get away with ditching me for porn.
princess_eab princess_eab 7 years
Counseling. If he refuses to do couples counseling, we "take a break". Or break up. I just went through a situation just like this, but without the porn, and the consequences were the same... I'd imagine I'd feel the same if the porn was there or not - it's a terrible feeling to be rejected, and since we always watched that stuff together, I'd have felt even worse about it... a very bad sign.
designerel designerel 7 years
I'm with psterling. I have nothing against porn, it can greatly enhance sex, but using porn as a substitute is not right.
Fallen85 Fallen85 7 years
I'd probably try to initiate sex with him, if he's watching porn it must mean he's horny and if it's in the middle of the night he probably didnt want to wake me. But, if he shot me down at that point and made an excuse not to have sex I would break up with him. Obviously, he's just not that into me anymore.
psterling psterling 7 years
Ouch. I'd probably have a talk with him, find out what it is that is missing from the relationship that porn fulfills and see if there's something he'd like to try, etc. that he didn't want to bring up. If he can't be open to the discussion though, its time to leave.
Mesayme Mesayme 7 years
Start packing his stuff to let him go somewhere and reconsider his priorities. And see where it goes from there.
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 7 years
I'd say: "See ya later masturbater!" :D
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 7 years
I'd say:"See ya later masturbater!":D
fantome14 fantome14 7 years
My ex had a problem with this. He even did it at work! Try talking to him, but if nothing like that works, he may need counseling. Or you could just decide you won't put up with it if he won't/can't change. Disclaimer: I think nothing's wrong with porn once in a while. I even like to watch it occasionally myself! But when it's being used to the exclusion of willing girlfriend, there may be some kind of compulsion involved. Good luck!
Duke Freshman Porn Star Interview
Is the Recession Ruining Your Sex Life?
Handle This: You Caught Him Reading Your Journal
Teen Sex at Home
Rashida Jones on Sex in Glamour

POPSUGAR, the #1 independent media and technology company for women. Where more than 75 million women go for original, inspirational content that feeds their passions and interests.

From Our Partners
Latest Love
X