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Handle This: Her Boyfriend Is a Nightmare

After a weekend visiting a close friend, you’re desperately grateful to be home. While it was nice to see her, her boyfriend put a huge damper on everything else. If he wasn’t guilt-tripping her about going out then they were arguing about staying in. He even demanded that you guys not go to the restaurant you had been dying to try for weeks because it was too far for him to drive.

When she calls a few days later, you assume she wants to apologize about his behavior, but instead she wants to know what you think about him and to see if they can visit you together in a few months. She’s eager for your answer, so how do you handle this?

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K-is-For-Kait K-is-For-Kait 7 years
If the boy really is this horrible, it's best to just tell her in the nicest way you can. Even if she resents what your saying at first, she'll probably become more aware of it after you point it out. And if she doesn't dump him, then next time you hang out, she can come visit you w/o her bf!
vmruby vmruby 7 years
I would tell her exactly what I think of him......
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 7 years
I'd say something like "was he just in a bad mood or is he always like that" with a joking tone of voice. Tell her that you liked hanging out with her but don't feel like he really wanted you to be there.
sunnyheart sunnyheart 7 years
I would say yes and would hope she broke up with him by then... If she asked what I thought of him I would try to make a joke of it sort of like Le Luxe--"he sure didn't seem to like me much, or you!" to see if there was a reason for his bad behavior.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 7 years
Yeah, you have to tell her. And then let it drop I guess. I'm assuming this already happened. Tell her you are willing to give him a second chance if they come visit. Personal anecdote!!: I recently met a friend of my fiance's he assumed I loved. I went along with it, until he asked me why the friend didn't have any luck with the ladies, and I was like, "are you SERIOUS!?" And then I was informed that the friend apparently LOVED me and I felt like such a big jerk.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 7 years
Yeah, you have to tell her. And then let it drop I guess. I'm assuming this already happened. Tell her you are willing to give him a second chance if they come visit. Personal anecdote!!: I recently met a friend of my fiance's he assumed I loved. I went along with it, until he asked me why the friend didn't have any luck with the ladies, and I was like, "are you SERIOUS!?" And then I was informed that the friend apparently LOVED me and I felt like such a big jerk.
MindayH MindayH 7 years
I would tell her that in all honesty you weren't really loving him after the first weekend - it may be an opportunity for her to talk to him and see if he corrects his behavior for the next time. You never know, he could have been sick or not sleeping well and not realized he was making a crap impression. Tough one.
MindayH MindayH 7 years
I would tell her that in all honesty you weren't really loving him after the first weekend - it may be an opportunity for her to talk to him and see if he corrects his behavior for the next time. You never know, he could have been sick or not sleeping well and not realized he was making a crap impression.Tough one.
AujahAcorn AujahAcorn 7 years
I would nicely tell her exacly how I feel about it.
urban-chic-101 urban-chic-101 7 years
I say tell her the truth. It may hurt but she is going to figure this out sooner or later.
Sporky Sporky 7 years
I'd tell her I didn't feel very comfortable around him and give her reasons why, and leave it at that. I agree with the comments above, if you can't be honest with your friends then who will?
cubadog cubadog 7 years
She asked so as her friend you need to tell her the truth in the most tactful way possible. Let her know that his behavior made you really uncomfortable and aren't sure how you feel about having him in your home if that is how he always acts.
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 7 years
I would probably not bash him directly, but ask "Does he always act like that?" or "He seemed like he didn't like me much" and skirt around it to see what she says.
havok636 havok636 7 years
i tell her the truth. if that's how he's going to treat her friends, how is he going to treat her?
havok636 havok636 7 years
i tell her the truth.if that's how he's going to treat her friends, how is he going to treat her?
emalove emalove 7 years
Ugh...it's sooooo tough to tell a friend that you don't care for her boyfriend...so I probably would tread VERY lightly on this one. I'm with MissChita. Be nice about it and let her know that you're only expressing your thoughts/concerns because you love her and want the best for her.
linb linb 7 years
I would be honest about my thoughts of the guy, and let her know that the if he wants to come visit with her, he will first need to change his attitude and act like an adult. Otherwise he would not be welcome.
MissChita MissChita 7 years
I would try to be as nice about it as possible, but honest. Let her know that you didnt feel comfortable about his attitude toward a lot of things and you didnt like the fact that he was argumentative and whatnot. If she is asking you for your opinion, then you should give it to her. But let her know that you are telling her these things because you love her and just want to make sure she is making the right decisions for herself and her future when it comes to these relationships....
Fallen85 Fallen85 7 years
Tell her you dont like him and that you think he's really controlling and could possibly be abusive. You are her friend, if you dont tell her he's a dick then who will? He sounds like a future abusive boyfriend. Let her know you're worried about her and that you dont approve of this guy and if she gets mad at you let her know you'll be right there for her when it turns out that you're right.
Fallen85 Fallen85 7 years
Tell her you dont like him and that you think he's really controlling and could possibly be abusive. You are her friend, if you dont tell her he's a dick then who will? He sounds like a future abusive boyfriend. Let her know you're worried about her and that you dont approve of this guy and if she gets mad at you let her know you'll be right there for her when it turns out that you're right.
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