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Handle This: Mixing Business With Pleasure

Welcome to DearSugar's new feature: Handle This. I'm going to give you a hypothetical scenario and ask you to tell me how you would handle it in the comments below. Let's give it a whirl.

You have had a crush on your co-worker ever since you started working for the company six months ago. He was in a serious relationship, but you found out they broke up over the Thanksgiving weekend. Your group of friends at work know about your crush and are all for you two hooking up now that he is single.

You just received a flirtatious e-mail from him, and you forwarded it to the girls to get their input on what you should write back. Just as you hit send, your stomach turned — you hit reply instead of forward! Your crush was the one that got the e-mail, not your friends. Once you get a grasp of what you just did, tell me how you would handle outing yourself to your work crush?

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Asia84 Asia84 9 years
why would i be using my work email to do this? and why would i be telling the group of girls at work about my love life. 1st- I've only been at the company for 6 months. i don't know him very well, nor do i know these "friends". heck i don't know the job that well. 2nd- how do i know he hadn't dated other women in the office, and my co-workers are just giddy to be on the inside of this new office fling?? 3rd- you don't sh*it where you eat. office romances are not good. even if you date and break up amicably, how are you gonna feel when he brings a new chica to the office xmas party, or the annual company picnic/trip???? you're gonna feel real crummy. i think you should focus on that new job, versus the guy. that's just from my experience.
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
why would i be using my work email to do this?and why would i be telling the group of girls at work about my love life.1st- I've only been at the company for 6 months. i don't know him very well, nor do i know these "friends". heck i don't know the job that well.2nd- how do i know he hadn't dated other women in the office, and my co-workers are just giddy to be on the inside of this new office fling??3rd- you don't sh*it where you eat. office romances are not good. even if you date and break up amicably, how are you gonna feel when he brings a new chica to the office xmas party, or the annual company picnic/trip???? you're gonna feel real crummy.i think you should focus on that new job, versus the guy. that's just from my experience.
omilawd omilawd 9 years
My friends barely ever use their e-mail, so I'd probably just tell them in person. BUT...if this WERE to ever happen to me, I would probably send another e-mail to the guy saying, "Oops. Wrong person," and try to make weekend plans. There's no use dwelling on something.
TresAnnie TresAnnie 9 years
I think the amount of damage done depends on what you wrote in the e-mail to your friends. Perhaps you should just take this mortifying experience as an opportunity to learn that you shouldn't forward e-mails like that. While everyone should remember that e-mails are easily forwarded, it is much better to be the more respectful person who does not share private communications with others. By not forwarding emails, you'll also avoid embarrassing opportunities like this one. I'll make sure to learn from your mistake, too. ;-)
carak carak 9 years
i'd be thankful i wasn't calling him a complete fool. i would just wait to see if he responds or mentions it. also when you forward you'd have to select/input the email addresses you want to forward to. so i'd think you'd have to be pretty dumb to do this without realizing you hadn't selected your friends' emails. forwarding to the whole office/company would be better..... a la the Office.
carak carak 9 years
i'd be thankful i wasn't calling him a complete fool. i would just wait to see if he responds or mentions it.also when you forward you'd have to select/input the email addresses you want to forward to. so i'd think you'd have to be pretty dumb to do this without realizing you hadn't selected your friends' emails. forwarding to the whole office/company would be better..... a la the Office.
saranightly saranightly 9 years
I would never forward that kind of information, but all of you who said relationships with co-workers are a no-no: I met my boyfriend at my last job, and we are very happy together! We were always professional about it at work, and no one even knew we were together until about 6 months into our relationship. At that point, it was only because we told people we were. These days, we don't work together and I miss secretly smiling at him during my workday. My roommate from college met her fiancee at work, they still work together and it works for them too.
elizabelle elizabelle 9 years
agree with caterpillar... not only was it immature to forward on the e-mail, dating coworkers is something I NEVER do (I don't care how crush-able they are)
chatondeneige chatondeneige 9 years
The first thought I had, before reading the end of the story, was "Oh forget that, I don't forward emails like that EVER"
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
I'm going to be realistic. I don't believe in getting involved with coworkers, let alone coworkers who are fresh out of relationships. Nope!
facin8me facin8me 9 years
Wait, is this a high school scenario or grown up scenario? I'm at a point in my life where I don't need to convene with my friends to decide what to write back in an email.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I'm going to suspend reality for a moment to suppose that actually might happen to me. If I sent such an email, and the email couldn't be recalled, I would follow it up with a short email apologizing. I would try to keep it light and not overly "omg did I really just do that?" I'd have to acknowledge it otherwise it would just be even weirder.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I'm going to suspend reality for a moment to suppose that actually might happen to me.If I sent such an email, and the email couldn't be recalled, I would follow it up with a short email apologizing. I would try to keep it light and not overly "omg did I really just do that?" I'd have to acknowledge it otherwise it would just be even weirder.
herjoiedevivre herjoiedevivre 9 years
lol I don't really think that forwarding a work email is all that immature- girls gossip. forwarding the email is just using technology to find a quicker way to gossip, lol. but I DO think she should've answered the guy first before sending the email off. since the trouble's done, I would smile sweetly and ask if he's checked his email. and see how it goes from there.
herjoiedevivre herjoiedevivre 9 years
lol I don't really think that forwarding a work email is all that immature- girls gossip. forwarding the email is just using technology to find a quicker way to gossip, lol. but I DO think she should've answered the guy first before sending the email off. since the trouble's done, I would smile sweetly and ask if he's checked his email. and see how it goes from there.
spiceG spiceG 9 years
work relationships are a no-no. leave work professional. those that need to hook up at work must have no life. i would have no sympathy for such immature behavior, even though I would be LMAO at anyone who this happened to. it wouldnt happen to me that's for sure! it's still funny to think about...she would have to come clean to the guy if she wanted to save face.
bettyboutique bettyboutique 9 years
Agreeing also... work is work... majority of the time work relationships dont work out and are usually against company policy. and agreeing again that work email should only be used for work and clearly that was karma biting the girl in the bum and telling you it is a bad idea.
totonlaura totonlaura 9 years
I agree with Greggie and Caterpillar. I would never get involved with a coworker its just asking for trouble and especially getting all of my other coworker involved. So not professional!
Greggie Greggie 9 years
I tend to agree with Caterpillar - if I were interested in a guy and sending message (via personal email) and he forwarded it to his friends, that'd be a big tip-off that we're totally incompatible.
EllaBella EllaBella 9 years
My rule is work email is for work. That way I actually have a more effective day at work cause I only get work-related mails. I check my private email at home and the two things are totally separate.
cubadog cubadog 9 years
Chances are he already knows you have a thing for him since everyone at work already knows you have a crush on him. Why didn't you just recall the message? Once you do that it can't be read unless it has already been opened or it was sent outside your company. We have all used work e-mail for soemthing that it was not intended for so now you have to deal with it. I would ignore it and send him another e-mail asking him out for a drink. Who Cares.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
I dont know how to handle that, seeing as I know how to seperate work from personal, that its against company policies everywhere to trade emails like that and I have more smarts. If that did happen, i would think that guy got lucky enough to see how immature she was!
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
I dont know how to handle that, seeing as I know how to seperate work from personal, that its against company policies everywhere to trade emails like that and I have more smarts. If that did happen, i would think that guy got lucky enough to see how immature she was!
Greggie Greggie 9 years
I'd never be using my work email for something like that in the first place. Assuming it was work email, that is.
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