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Handle This: She's Acting Like Something She's Not

Handle This: She's Acting Like Something She's Not

In another effort to try and meet someone, your friend has signed up for an online dating site. And she’s actually been getting a ton of dates, but the problem is the guys never call her for date number two.

She’s come to you crying so many times now that you’re starting to get annoyed. You’ve been blaming it on the guys, so you offer to take a look at her profile to see why she might be attracting the wrong type. When you sign on together, you’re shocked to see a picture of your friend from five years ago when she was forty pounds lighter. Even worse, her profile is filled with facts about herself that just aren't true. She’s asking your opinion, so how do you handle this?

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snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 7 years
agree w/ the suggestions to offer to redo her online profile."Is she really confused as to why she's not getting 2nd dates? Is she in denial about who she really is?"i've heard from guys writing on craigslist rants and raves that quite a few women do this, in fact! and many of them are overweight, apparently...
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 7 years
agree w/ the suggestions to offer to redo her online profile. "Is she really confused as to why she's not getting 2nd dates? Is she in denial about who she really is?" i've heard from guys writing on craigslist rants and raves that quite a few women do this, in fact! and many of them are overweight, apparently...
bluestar bluestar 7 years
Is she really confused as to why she's not getting 2nd dates? Is she in denial about who she really is? Sounds like she has worse issues than trying to get a 2nd date!
roxtarchic roxtarchic 7 years
crackaddict... i'd be saying the same thing... and offering to rewrite some of it...
Belle1031 Belle1031 7 years
Fallen has it. Ask to redo her profile. I personally would have been very honest with her and told her the reason she isnt getting date #2 is because she lied and deceived the guys. Sounds harsh I know.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
fallen has a good idea, but i don't think i would have been able to keep my mouth shut in the first place...i would have blurted out "waterskiing? when do you EVER do that?" "museums? yah right, we never go to museums!" and stuff like that, and then i would have said "when was this picture taken? this isn't really what you look like. let's take a new picture of you so they can see how hot you really are" or something like thatto be fair, if she has gained 40lb in 5 years she must not be a super tiny delicate flower so there might be a reason she's not getting dates or finding meni'd hope i would be able to be nice about it but i tend to tell it like it is when it comes to stuff like that
skigurl skigurl 7 years
fallen has a good idea, but i don't think i would have been able to keep my mouth shut in the first place...i would have blurted out "waterskiing? when do you EVER do that?" "museums? yah right, we never go to museums!" and stuff like that, and then i would have said "when was this picture taken? this isn't really what you look like. let's take a new picture of you so they can see how hot you really are" or something like that to be fair, if she has gained 40lb in 5 years she must not be a super tiny delicate flower so there might be a reason she's not getting dates or finding men i'd hope i would be able to be nice about it but i tend to tell it like it is when it comes to stuff like that
LadyLiLa83 LadyLiLa83 7 years
I would definitely offer to help her redo the profile. I like itsme's suggestion of offering to post pictures in a new outfit.
crackaddict crackaddict 7 years
I dont know any friend of mine who i couldnt say look this picture is OLD and is this really true?!?!? to i mean come on
Mesayme Mesayme 7 years
I'd talk to her about other means of dating...maybe she's dating online to hide the weight or other factors she's subconscious about. If she's my good friend then we'd work on the issues rather than the dating.
itsme3683 itsme3683 7 years
I agree with the above posters, offer to help her first without saying anything and if she calls you out on it be honest but gentle. If it's too weird to bring up the weight thing then just say something like "I think you should post a photo of you in that great dress you just bought" or something. As for the little white lies, I would just talk to her and put some of the great things you know to be true about her--it could just be that she's making stuff up because she has low self-esteem and can't think of anything nice to say about herself. I think you just have to be there with her and make her realize that she's an awesome person with or without the extra weight and maybe the confidence will come through!
cubadog cubadog 7 years
Offer to help her with her profile. Chances are she already knows that she has told a white lie and used a picture from her thinner days. If she turns you down you need to be honest with her and as fallen85 said her profile is giving the wrong idea.
Miss-Metal Miss-Metal 7 years
I agree with fallen85 .
Miss-Metal Miss-Metal 7 years
I agree with fallen85 .
Fallen85 Fallen85 7 years
I would offer to re-do her profile for her and take some good pictures of her. I wouldnt tell her what she did wrong I would just offer to fix it. If she denied, then I would very delicately and politely explain that the men might be getting the wrong idea of her based on the profile.
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