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Handle This: You Don't Like Him, But Your Friend Might

Handle This: You Don't Like Him, But Your Friend Might

You recently met a guy while out with friends. He asked you out on date and it ended up going really well, but the sparks just weren't there. You guys have continued to chat via email for a few weeks, and as you get to know him better, the more you're convinced that he would be great for a friend of yours. They have all the same interests, they're both looking to settle down in the next couple of years, and something about him just reminds you of her.

You've definitely determined that the guy isn't seriously into you, but you're still not sure on how to approach the set up. Your girlfriend also happens to be very sensitive, so you fear that the fact that you dated him briefly would bother her, but you just have a feeling this could be a match made in heaven. Tell me ladies, how would you handle this?

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amborsita amborsita 8 years
I would tell her about the guy and mention his good points (that is , the things she has in common with him), but I'd say I'm not into him for ME. I wouldn't want to bluntly say I don't like him because that may come across as something being wrong with the guy. I'd bring them to a larger social event and hope they kick things off. If they have so many things in common, chances are they wouldn't need my help to ignite some fire.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
I'm not a matchmaker.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
I'm not a matchmaker.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 8 years
I think since it's a strange situation I would be completely honest with both of them. I know that I would NEVER date any of my friends' bf's or exes, even if they were on friendly terms because I just think it's a no-no, no matter how casual they are. Personal Anecdote: My best friend in high school dated this guy for like, 2 weeks, they held hands ONCE, and then she claimed she was over him, only liked him as a friend, etc. He and I were pretty good friends and six months later, we started dating. After two or three months of dating, she decided she was incredibly hurt by my actions, and that she wanted to date him again. He "didn't know what to do," I got pissed, dumped him, and then they dated for four very miserable years. Just sayin' she might have the same hesitation to date a friend's "ex." The guy should be easier, as long as you don't hurt his ego. Maybe, "what attracted me to you is the qualities in you I see in my best friend. Unfortunately I don't think those qualities are what I am interested in for someone I'm dating. I really wouldn't mind if you met my friend and hit it off with her, I think she might really like you." Just don't make it sound to either one of them like you are pawning your leftovers on each other!! And really don't just conveniently invite them to dinner and hope sparks fly. Most of us are better about meeting a friend's date than wanting to have sparks fly, unless we are SUPPOSED to!
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 8 years
I think since it's a strange situation I would be completely honest with both of them. I know that I would NEVER date any of my friends' bf's or exes, even if they were on friendly terms because I just think it's a no-no, no matter how casual they are.Personal Anecdote: My best friend in high school dated this guy for like, 2 weeks, they held hands ONCE, and then she claimed she was over him, only liked him as a friend, etc. He and I were pretty good friends and six months later, we started dating. After two or three months of dating, she decided she was incredibly hurt by my actions, and that she wanted to date him again. He "didn't know what to do," I got pissed, dumped him, and then they dated for four very miserable years. Just sayin' she might have the same hesitation to date a friend's "ex." The guy should be easier, as long as you don't hurt his ego. Maybe, "what attracted me to you is the qualities in you I see in my best friend. Unfortunately I don't think those qualities are what I am interested in for someone I'm dating. I really wouldn't mind if you met my friend and hit it off with her, I think she might really like you." Just don't make it sound to either one of them like you are pawning your leftovers on each other!! And really don't just conveniently invite them to dinner and hope sparks fly. Most of us are better about meeting a friend's date than wanting to have sparks fly, unless we are SUPPOSED to!
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
I just want to comment on the photo of the African-American woman. She is so beautiful! Wow.
cubadog cubadog 8 years
I would invite them to a party or other group activity and introduce them to eachother than leave them alone to chat. Prior to that I would tell him I am not interested in more than a friendship with you but I have a friend that I think you would really like to get to know. Since she is your friend she probably already knows what has happened or I should say not happened between the 2 of you. I don't think it is that big of deal. I have had friends that have had this happen. It just shows you care.
Ikandy Ikandy 8 years
If the guy is into u, then I wouldnt hook him up with my girl...that might b weird for both, but if its casual, then I see nothing wrong with trying to match them.I agree with u girls...group activity or dinner party wouldnt put too much pressure on them.
Ikandy Ikandy 8 years
If the guy is into u, then I wouldnt hook him up with my girl...that might b weird for both, but if its casual, then I see nothing wrong with trying to match them. I agree with u girls...group activity or dinner party wouldnt put too much pressure on them.
Kristinh1012 Kristinh1012 8 years
I would have some people over for a dinner party or something and invite both of them. But before hand, make sure that he knows that I'm not interested but would like to remain friends. Introduce them both and see what happpens.
gooniette gooniette 8 years
Invite them both out to a group activity and see if there are any sparks. If so, make a comment about how cool it is that they have so much in common and bow out gracefully.
annebreal annebreal 8 years
I'd just be honest with her - tell her what he was like, how I thought they'd be a great match, and what specifically if we did anything physical on the date. If she was still interested, I'd email him about it, saying he's a great guy and I'd love to be buds with him and give him the friend's digits.
almost-famous almost-famous 8 years
Tell her about his interests, what the conversations between me and him were about(so she would know how much intellect he has). I would also let her know that we talked, but never did a thing. I doubt a friend would want to be with her friend's reject....
almost-famous almost-famous 8 years
Tell her about his interests, what the conversations between me and him were about(so she would know how much intellect he has). I would also let her know that we talked, but never did a thing. I doubt a friend would want to be with her friend's reject....
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