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Handle This: You Don't See Eye-to-Eye on Abortion

Handle This: You Don't See Eye-to-Eye on Abortion

Now that you’ve started having sex with your new boyfriend, some serious issues have come up including getting tested for STIs and the potential risk of pregnancy. You have no idea what you would do in the event of an unplanned pregnancy; however, you’re adamant that you’ll have a choice when and if the time comes. Your boyfriend on the other hand is vehemently against abortion, and though he acknowledges that it’s not his body that’s affected, he says that it's still part of him. You’re at a standstill so how do you handle this?

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Natalie-Love Natalie-Love 7 years
I don't think he'd be right for me then. If an accident happened, I'd need to know he's behind me 100% on any decision I choose, which may or may not be abortion, depending on the situation and point in life we're in.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 7 years
I wouldn't be sleeping with a guy if we disagreed on an issue like that.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
I would definitely just tell him that he has to take responsibility to always have condoms so that you never do get pregnant and the issue won't arise. I would also take birth control of some sort so we're doubly protected. Ultimately it's my body and I will make the decision that is right for me and not him even if that means the end of the relationship.
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 8 years
yesterday I just had this conversation with one of my guy friends about what if I got pregnant with his baby. He is totally against abortion and would not see why I would be so selfish.
alynn28 alynn28 8 years
"alynn28: The fact that you think abortion is wrong and is killing a human being doesn't make it true." Mine isnt just an opinion Muirnea. i argue my opinion based on FACT. Scientific facts that have been proven to be true over and over again. Facts that people ignore because this is not an issue based on logic and common sense ( Sadly ) its an emotional issue based on lies and an adopted Feminist Agenda to get back at Men. people want to believe that a 2 or 3 month old fetus is just blob of tissue. people want to believe its " their body." because then theres no guilt. no reason to take responsibility for their decisions, whether protection was used or not. im not going to get into the complexity of how a life starts and grows until its ready to be born at 9mos. but, i want to encourage people to do some research on all stages of an unborn childs life. and see for themselves that the babies that get aborted all have a beating heart, and a nervous system and feel EVERYTHING thats being done to it in a standard abortion procedure. there is video footage of a tiny baby thrashing around as its being poisoned by acid. weird that the fetus is thrashing around in agony if its just a blob of tissue huh? oh, and the medical notes of how a full term babys head is kept in the birth canal so the mother cant hear it scream as its brains are suctioned out and its head is caved in. how is that ok? how is that accepted in a society that boasts " with liberty and justice for all?" that doesnt sound like justice to me. that sounds like a society thats taking advantage of the weak and vulnerable. abortion is wrong, and its not just an opinion, its a proven fact that is ignored because your a judgemental jerk or a crazy jesus freak if your pro life. go ahead and hide behind the stance that " im against abortion, but im still pro choice" or that " its just an opinion, you have no right to say others cant do what they want with their body!" then i guess just being opposed to murdering in general is just an opinion because i have no right to say that its wrong to kill innocent people right? the hypocrisy will forever astound me.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
I totally agree Michelin. And for the most part, every individual thinks they have wonderful traits better than everyone else...so every single person would want their own genes passed on. alynn28: The fact that you think abortion is wrong and is killing a human being doesn't make it true. Same goes for my opinion and anyone else's, just because it's what we think, that in no way makes it true, in the general, worldly sense of the word true. Those opinions are very true though, to the people that hold them. That's why they are opinions. There is no right answer here, that's why it's a personal choice. Just because we don't agree with you doesn't make us wrong.
alynn28 alynn28 8 years
Ugh, i love how 2 of my comments have gotten flagged so far on this site and i never have " viciously attacked anyone or used extremely bad language." pretty annoying if ya ask me.
alynn28 alynn28 8 years
"It helps to know what you're talking about if you're going to debate. But in essence, you proved my point....Your argument was that the fetus grows it's own dna, that's fine and dandy, it still needs the mother to survive. If you had actually read my post, you'd know that. But no, you were to busy huffing and puffing and having the audacity to be judgmental. Don't want an abortion? Don't have one. But don't get pissy when other women exercise their right to do as they choose." first off, i know what im talking about, thanks. my argument was not that it GROWS its own DNA, but that is HAS its own DNA from the beginning, separate from its mother. 1st trimester through 3rd trimester. it is a separate being. with traits and characteristics of both parents. like me, like you, and everyone else. what i am trying to get through to people that have bought in to this feminists " its my body, my choice" propaganda, is that its NOT yours or anyones choice to begin with, regardless of the reason. its about Justice for those who cant speak for themselves, for the vulnerable and weak. its about standing up for whats Right. your rights end, when they interfere with someones elses rights. its what we have been taught all our lives. why do people get punished for killing someone else? because its Wrong. what it comes down to in the end, is are unborn children, children at all? are they nothing but a blob of tissue easily discarded, without given any thought because it needs its mother to take care of it for 9mos, and then still needed to be taken care of some more for another 18yrs by law? ( from 1yr to 6 yrs old they have the same needs if not more so than a child in the womb ) i have been in this situation and i have seen others go through similar. you want to say im judging people? go right ahead. im making people feel guilty and get defensive? i dont care. when i see people and politicians supporting bills like the ones that state babies that survive abortions , are not required to get medical care after wards, it makes me sick. and i see it as a direct fault of " womans right to choose." its a dangerous slippery slope. this is about justice for me, as it is with a lot of people that see the Truth about this issue. so make all the excuses you want about it, it doesn't change what it is. and what it is, is the taking of an innocent life. and im as against that as i would be a mother taking her children and drowning them, or putting her infant in a trash can, child abuse and so on. if saying i think thats wrong makes me judgemental, then youd be accusing any free thinking person who knows the difference between right and wrong the same.
Michelann Michelann 8 years
"I like eugenics on paper. There are too many other things that can happen that make it not work in real life I guess. Like people taking advantage of the idea to get rid of people they just don't like, or people disagreeing about what exactly is a bad trait to have. I was thinking in terms of getting rid of diseases or something like that..." The problem comes with deciding what's a good trait and what's a bad trait. What if we decide it's "bad" to be overweight. Do we now use eugenics to weed that out? I'm not even okay with using it against diseases. Would you deny a great, intelligent, friendly, handsome guy from having kids just because he has ALS? He shouldn't be allowed to pass on all his positive traits on the off chance that he might pass on a disease? Furthermore, scientists simply don't have that great of an understanding of genetics. There are always unintended consequences. For example, dalmatians are bred for their coats (a "good" trait) and we unintentionally cursed them with awful genetic diseases that we never saw coming. How do we know that while we're weeding out a disease through eugenics, we won't mess up something else? We simply don't know enough about science for it to work. But we do know enough about ethics to know that you nobody gets to tell somebody else not to have children just because they have a disease.
white-Lily white-Lily 8 years
I 100% agree with GS. I am from Canada and I really don't support with abortion. For me fetus is a life no matter what anyone say.
white-Lily white-Lily 8 years
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/01/palin-on-abortion-id-oppo_n_122924.html
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
And I can say I know for a fact that children born from rape can not only be normal, but gifted.
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
Quite a bit behind rape is a need for power and control. If you look at quite a few rapists, they were either abused themselves, sexually, physically or emotionally, or abandoned in similar fashion. This all falls under nurture, not nature.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
Ok, well your side makes sense Michelin, I was just wondering... I kind of agree that it's a child's environment too, I think people still don't really know exactly what causes something like that, so it's hard to argue either side, I think it's both. I wonder if there were two kids raised in the same bad environment but one had "bad" genes and the other didn't, if they would turn out with equal tendencies to rape or be violent...hmmmm. What about all the kids that come from bad family environments and want to turn things around and specifically change so they are different from the environment they grew up in? I know people rape for many different reasons, but that's not the genetics part of it, that's a conscious decision. The genetics part of it seems like it would be the lack of self control or lack of caring about other people (the victim in this case), the "bad" genes would be the genes that don't give that person a brain that has self control or care for others, and the rapists all have that in common, so those would/could be passed on to a child. And those traits would also cause a child to be more vulnerable and easily influenced by a bad environment in the first place. So even if the child produced was female and wasn't going to rape anyone, she could still have those traits and hurt people in other ways due to her lack of care and self control. I agree with you, I don't think we should abort a child due to a tendency to be a rapist or violent person alone, but with all of the circumstances that come with most children produced from a rape, I think it is the best decision in most cases. I like eugenics on paper. There are too many other things that can happen that make it not work in real life I guess. Like people taking advantage of the idea to get rid of people they just don't like, or people disagreeing about what exactly is a bad trait to have. I was thinking in terms of getting rid of diseases or something like that... Ha, that is very ironic Great Sommelier.
white-Lily white-Lily 8 years
http://www.ontheissues.org/2008/John_McCain_Abortion.htm
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
Ah, eugenics was horrible. And, a bit of weird trivia for you now: What is housed now in the building once dedicated soley to the study of eugenics, closed in 1931?The main lab for the Human Genome Project.Ironic?
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
Ah, eugenics was horrible. And, a bit of weird trivia for you now: What is housed now in the building once dedicated soley to the study of eugenics, closed in 1931? The main lab for the Human Genome Project. Ironic?
Michelann Michelann 8 years
Well, I'm a criminology major right now, and I hear over and over again that criminality is not very strongly linked to genetics. But I suppose nobody is going to just take my word for it, and I don't blame you. Anyway, they've done lots of studies on twins, adopted kids, etc. to see if criminal (especially violent) behavior is the product of genetics. What they've found is that the environment you're brought up is a much greater predictor of your behavior. Genetics are a very slight indicator of criminality. Furthermore, people rape for many different reasons. There's absolutely no way to say that the reason any given person rapes another person is genetic, and would therefore be passed onto a child. Furthermore, what if the rape produces a female? Do you think she's likely to rape anybody? Finally, do you really want to say that we ought to abort a child because you think there might be a chance that they'll inherit rapist tendencies? That's a really slippery slope, and it's unethical. Look into the eugenics movement, it's pretty horrific.
Michelann Michelann 8 years
Well, I'm a criminology major right now, and I hear over and over again that criminality is not very strongly linked to genetics. But I suppose nobody is going to just take my word for it, and I don't blame you. Anyway, they've done lots of studies on twins, adopted kids, etc. to see if criminal (especially violent) behavior is the product of genetics. What they've found is that the environment you're brought up is a much greater predictor of your behavior. Genetics are a very slight indicator of criminality. Furthermore, people rape for many different reasons. There's absolutely no way to say that the reason any given person rapes another person is genetic, and would therefore be passed onto a child. Furthermore, what if the rape produces a female? Do you think she's likely to rape anybody? Finally, do you really want to say that we ought to abort a child because you think there might be a chance that they'll inherit rapist tendencies? That's a really slippery slope, and it's unethical. Look into the eugenics movement, it's pretty horrific.
nobodymuch nobodymuch 8 years
I had a scare when I was 22 with a serious BF who was "personally" not pro-choice. Both of us were so far from able to be parents that it barely seemed like a decision not to talk about it, though that seemed sorta unfair for the stress not to be something I could share or be his problem, too. But I knew I had friends who could be there for me. And then I got my period, but it was the most memorable scare of my life by far
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
Michelin: I don't think a rapist will pass "rapist genes" on to a child. I think behavioral tendency's are passed from parents to children and a child with a rapist parent is more likely to rape or at least be violent than one without a rapist parent. You keep telling everyone on this side of the argument that we "are truly ignorant about genetics and criminality", but that is all that you have said. Well, enlighten us, what exactly is it that makes your side right? Explain your opinion rather than just saying we are wrong over and over again. Why wouldn't behaviors like that possibly be passed on to a child? Great Sommelier:I don't disagree. The child should not be punished for the sins of the father. But neither should the mother, which is why I am still pro-choice here, I'm just giving supporting reasons for MY choice for the sake of argument. I'm just letting everyone hear why I would choose abortion and I'm still interested in hearing why others wouldn't. I also think that the good of a society or country or the world comes first before a single individuals wants and needs, to promote the good of the society as a whole, so yes, all children who's parents commit a crime should be held to the same light, as you said. I actually think that not all people should just be allowed to reproduce. Some genes/behavior/etc. should not be allowed to continue in the gene pool, and if that includes myself or my parents then I am still for it, because it would eventually make people in general a much better species. (Yes I know, very controversial crazy idea...feel free to attack me now. :))
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
Michelin: I don't think a rapist will pass "rapist genes" on to a child. I think behavioral tendency's are passed from parents to children and a child with a rapist parent is more likely to rape or at least be violent than one without a rapist parent. You keep telling everyone on this side of the argument that we "are truly ignorant about genetics and criminality", but that is all that you have said. Well, enlighten us, what exactly is it that makes your side right? Explain your opinion rather than just saying we are wrong over and over again. Why wouldn't behaviors like that possibly be passed on to a child? Great Sommelier: I don't disagree. The child should not be punished for the sins of the father. But neither should the mother, which is why I am still pro-choice here, I'm just giving supporting reasons for MY choice for the sake of argument. I'm just letting everyone hear why I would choose abortion and I'm still interested in hearing why others wouldn't. I also think that the good of a society or country or the world comes first before a single individuals wants and needs, to promote the good of the society as a whole, so yes, all children who's parents commit a crime should be held to the same light, as you said. I actually think that not all people should just be allowed to reproduce. Some genes/behavior/etc. should not be allowed to continue in the gene pool, and if that includes myself or my parents then I am still for it, because it would eventually make people in general a much better species. (Yes I know, very controversial crazy idea...feel free to attack me now. :))
alisaa alisaa 8 years
I'm Canadian too fallen, but i don't think that gives me the right to be ignorant about american politics. Maybe you should try a bit harder to get informed, and not just assume.
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
To geebers.
Handle This: Your Ex Reached Out to You
Handle This: Your Friend Has One Problem After Another
Handle This: His Friend Is Draining Your Relationship
Best of 2008: Handle This
Handle This: Your Date Is Buzzed!
Handle This: Your Luggage Gets Lost
Handle This: He Wants to Try Anal Sex

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