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Handle This: You Need Money, He's Willing to Loan It

Handle This: You Need Money, He's Willing to Loan It

The economy is terrible and your company’s taken a hit, so when you lose your job you’re devastated, but not shocked. The problem is you don’t have any prospects, no one’s hiring, and your rent is due. Your parents have deep financial woes of their own, so you can't turn to them. Your boyfriend is by no means well-off, but he currently is in a better situation than you. He’s offering to loan you money until you get a job, but you know money and romance don't mix. So how do you handle this?

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designerel designerel 7 years
I lent a former bf $1800 before and I broke things off with him shortly after. It has taken over a year for him to pay me back. I wouldn't do it again if the situation came up.On the flip side, I was recently laid off and my now bf said that he would be willing to give me money (GIVE, not lend) if I needed it. I told him thanks, but I would hit up my parents first before I came to him... I just don't like to mix financials with relationships unless we are married. But I guess in this scenario where the parents aren't doing so well themselves, I'd take the loan and do everything in my power to pay him back quickly. I hate owing people.
designerel designerel 7 years
I lent a former bf $1800 before and I broke things off with him shortly after. It has taken over a year for him to pay me back. I wouldn't do it again if the situation came up. On the flip side, I was recently laid off and my now bf said that he would be willing to give me money (GIVE, not lend) if I needed it. I told him thanks, but I would hit up my parents first before I came to him... I just don't like to mix financials with relationships unless we are married. But I guess in this scenario where the parents aren't doing so well themselves, I'd take the loan and do everything in my power to pay him back quickly. I hate owing people.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 7 years
School- oh gosh I would DEFINITELY lend money to my bf! He is amazingly trustworthy and he did it for me. But I agree that statements like "it's his job to provide for me" make me a little angry. My boyfriend is a grad student. While he had the cash to make me loans that lasted a couple of months, he can't save very much money because his stipend isn't large enough, so yeah, it was important that I actually pay him back at some point. I don't think any less of him for not being able to just GIVE me the money, how could I since I was the one having financial problems! ps- not to be judgy...but you should pay your ex back! ;)
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 7 years
School- oh gosh I would DEFINITELY lend money to my bf! He is amazingly trustworthy and he did it for me. But I agree that statements like "it's his job to provide for me" make me a little angry. My boyfriend is a grad student. While he had the cash to make me loans that lasted a couple of months, he can't save very much money because his stipend isn't large enough, so yeah, it was important that I actually pay him back at some point. I don't think any less of him for not being able to just GIVE me the money, how could I since I was the one having financial problems! ps- not to be judgy...but you should pay your ex back! ;)
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 7 years
I've done this twice, and it worked out really well. What I wouldn't do: have him buy you a tank of gas, extra groceries here or there, unless it's clearly a GIFT. Because those things can add up, you lose track of whether it was a gift, or how many times it happened. So it's best to take the $500 or whatever you need, so you have something concrete to pay him back. I'm not saying that you can't accept gifts, just don't start conflating gifts with loans! It did work out well for me, but it is a bit of a blow to the pride!
ilanac13 ilanac13 7 years
well...that's a complicated thing. i have a job, but i don't make enough money to really make a dent in things since i have my current rent and i have a mortgage on my house that i was renting out up until recently. my fiance had a job that paid a lot more than me, but he has his own bills to deal with as well, yet he's always offered to help me out with what i need to take care of. i think that if you know that you're going to some how pay him back, then it's ok. i can't say for sure that i;ll be able to pay him back in $$, but i know that some how we'll be even from all this.
sparklestar sparklestar 7 years
My boyfriend pays for way more than me. I think he enjoys being able to provide. He'll pay for the shopping and we have accounts on billshare.org but he never updates it with how much I owe him for various things. He'll also pay for meals out etc. more often than not. I'll pay for things too though when I can and I think as long as I keep showing willing he'll be fine with it. ;pI'm a grad student though and he's now working full time so we're in totally different financial positions.
sparklestar sparklestar 7 years
My boyfriend pays for way more than me. I think he enjoys being able to provide. He'll pay for the shopping and we have accounts on billshare.org but he never updates it with how much I owe him for various things. He'll also pay for meals out etc. more often than not. I'll pay for things too though when I can and I think as long as I keep showing willing he'll be fine with it. ;p I'm a grad student though and he's now working full time so we're in totally different financial positions.
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 7 years
^ I meant "I would be very cautious..."
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 7 years
I could not and would not borrow money from a boyfriend, friend, etc... I just couldn't. I wouldn't be very cautious and have a bit of money set aside for such emergencies.
gemsera gemsera 7 years
I dont see a problem with it. If I were to be laid off now, I would go back to temping for minimum wage and my beau would assist me where needed with petrol or a few drinks on a night out. He pays the rent anyway (he insists, so I can get my loans down), so it wouldnt be such a big deal.And if he was laid off, we would go back to how we did it before - living off my wage only.
gemsera gemsera 7 years
I dont see a problem with it. If I were to be laid off now, I would go back to temping for minimum wage and my beau would assist me where needed with petrol or a few drinks on a night out. He pays the rent anyway (he insists, so I can get my loans down), so it wouldnt be such a big deal. And if he was laid off, we would go back to how we did it before - living off my wage only.
kperry2414 kperry2414 7 years
I borrowed $2000 from my now ex. We had an agreement that I wouldn't pay it back until a certain time. I even tried to get him to sign a promissory note but he wouldn't. He's lucky I'm trustworthy or he might not have much of a legal claim if I'd decided to hold a grudge. After the whole ordeal I will never borrow money from another non-relative.
hyzenthlay20 hyzenthlay20 7 years
A few years ago the summer before my first year of teaching, I was unable to get a short term job that would make enough money for me to pay rent and live. To top it off, school started halfway through August, but my first paycheck didn't come until the end of September. I had to get to school (30 minutes away) and set up my classroom for the first time without any money. My boyfriend and another friend loaned me money to get by. I paid my friend back as soon as possible, but ended up letting it wait with my boyfriend. The next summer we moved in together, and I covered the entire deposit on our new place as well as the first months rent, as his first year of teaching they didn't pay him the summer after the year. Now we're both squared away and getting paid year-round and we're still together! I literally would not have been able to make it if he hadn't loaned me the money.
Nitachequita Nitachequita 7 years
Absolutely not. But then, I wouldn't borrow money from my parents either.
Fallen85 Fallen85 7 years
I know my man would lend me the money but really, I would go on EI instead of taking his money. He could help me out by buying a few groceries or a tank of gas but I wouldnt let him pay my rent. I lend my man money sometimes, it's stuff like pay off his phone bill on my credit card and he pays me back in cash the next day... I would definitely lend my man money though I have a hard time borrowing it from him for more then a couple of days.
Fallen85 Fallen85 7 years
I know my man would lend me the money but really, I would go on EI instead of taking his money. He could help me out by buying a few groceries or a tank of gas but I wouldnt let him pay my rent.I lend my man money sometimes, it's stuff like pay off his phone bill on my credit card and he pays me back in cash the next day... I would definitely lend my man money though I have a hard time borrowing it from him for more then a couple of days.
School247 School247 7 years
ok, im sorry if it seems i came across harsh or bitter. it makes for good conversation, would anone ever lend money to their man? why or why?
School247 School247 7 years
ok, im sorry if it seems i came across harsh or bitter. it makes for good conversation, would anone ever lend money to their man? why or why?
hithatsmybike hithatsmybike 7 years
Jyramiah, my boyfriend is the same way. He even tried to give me money to pay off some of my debt! I, of course, didn't accept -- and I've never accepted any money from him, but I've also never needed to. One time I misplaced my paycheque and I was freaking out because rent was due, and when the bf saw me so distraught he told me not to worry about it, he would pay my share that month. I ended up finding my cheque so I was fine, but I know he really meant it so if I ever find myself in a pinch, he's definitely there for me financially. I'd make it a last resort though. I HATE borrowing money from people -- I'd much rather just take it out of my visa or line of credit. School247, I wouldn't criticize the "provider" role of a man so harshly. It's probably written into his DNA more than you care acknowledge. I'm sure men are more pre-disposed to the role of protector & provider by their genetics than women are. While society ultimately has the upper hand in the development of these characteristics, I'm certain there's evidence that they'd be expressed in some form or another even without significant outside influence pigeon-holing a man into the role.
hithatsmybike hithatsmybike 7 years
Jyramiah, my boyfriend is the same way. He even tried to give me money to pay off some of my debt! I, of course, didn't accept -- and I've never accepted any money from him, but I've also never needed to.One time I misplaced my paycheque and I was freaking out because rent was due, and when the bf saw me so distraught he told me not to worry about it, he would pay my share that month. I ended up finding my cheque so I was fine, but I know he really meant it so if I ever find myself in a pinch, he's definitely there for me financially.I'd make it a last resort though. I HATE borrowing money from people -- I'd much rather just take it out of my visa or line of credit. School247, I wouldn't criticize the "provider" role of a man so harshly. It's probably written into his DNA more than you care acknowledge. I'm sure men are more pre-disposed to the role of protector & provider by their genetics than women are. While society ultimately has the upper hand in the development of these characteristics, I'm certain there's evidence that they'd be expressed in some form or another even without significant outside influence pigeon-holing a man into the role.
School247 School247 7 years
wow, jyramiah. he feels its his "job" why? and its not a mans DNA to feel as though he must be the provider, its our society that has put such a large job on a man
bluestar bluestar 7 years
Awww...I hope I can meet a guy someday that is nice enough to offer! :)
Jyramiah Jyramiah 7 years
Well money and romance mix just fine. My boyfriend has loaned me a bit of money before and he's willing to do it again to help me move out. And because it will help me get a better life, he doesn't really expect me to pay him back. It's part of his 'job' as a boyfriend, he feels. So gravy, gravy!
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