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Handle This: Your Boyfriend Is a Financial Wreck

Your boyfriend has been completely down on his luck for the past year; he had a car accident which resulted in medical bills, as well as issues with his student loans, and he has absolutely no financial help from his parents. He makes a decent salary, but he’s just not good at managing his finances.

You’ve always been willing to help with the small things, like paying for dinner and a tank of gas, but now he’s come to you and says he needs a grand to pay for his rent. You have the money, so how do you handle this?

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JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 7 years
I would sit him down and try to help him figure out his bills and what he needs to do. If we were at the right point in our relationship I'd ask him to move in with me so he could save some money. I would loan him the money either way and set up a repayment schedule and tell him it was never happening again. Luckily my man would rather die than ask for money so I wouldn't worry about that.
sparklestar sparklestar 7 years
Me and my boyfriend are both in a lot of debt due to college, moving into a new place... etc. We are living in our overdrafts. I have to borrow off him sometimes and occasionally I'll pay for something instead. I would discuss it with him.
sparklestar sparklestar 7 years
Me and my boyfriend are both in a lot of debt due to college, moving into a new place... etc. We are living in our overdrafts. I have to borrow off him sometimes and occasionally I'll pay for something instead. I would discuss it with him.
designerel designerel 7 years
My ex came from a very poor family and he was putting himself through school. He was on scholarships and was part of the work-study program. He made enough to get by, but when his transmission crapped out on him, suddenly he needed $1800 that he didn't have. I was sooo conflicted when he came to me asking for that money. I knew that it would take a long time for him to pay me back. To make things worse, I knew I would be breaking up with him soon because I wasn't happy with him. I told him to find someone to pay him half and I'd pay the other half. He never could find anyone else, so I loaned him all of the money. Of course we ended up breaking up (I have to say that our financial differences finally got to me, but there were a ton of other reasons too) and a year and a half later, he is still paying me back. If I was in that situation again, I wouldn't do it.
Mykie7 Mykie7 7 years
A "Rough financial patch" is one thing. But if the man constantly lives beyond his means, doesn't pay his bills, is always asking ME for money, that is NOT a "rough financial patch". That's how I viewed what the question was asking.
chocolatine chocolatine 7 years
I'd help him out if it's a committed relationship. Bad luck such as illness and lay-offs can happen to anyone, and it can ruin a life in a matter of months. I'd help out my family in this situation, and I would count the person I share my life with as part of my family.
gemsera gemsera 7 years
I would have known already and already offered. Me and my beau share everything, so I dont see a problem with it. If it was any of my exes, I would have dumped them on the spot as they really were poor with finances and losers who couldnt get their life in order. At least the current beau is doing his best.
gemsera gemsera 7 years
I would have known already and already offered. Me and my beau share everything, so I dont see a problem with it. If it was any of my exes, I would have dumped them on the spot as they really were poor with finances and losers who couldnt get their life in order. At least the current beau is doing his best.
princess_eab princess_eab 7 years
I wasn't trying to leave him because of the money problem... (or the drinking problem... or the anger problem....) but he left me! I just find it surprising...
Muirnea Muirnea 7 years
It depends, if it really is just a rough patch and he just needs help for a little while to get back on his feet etc. then yeah I would help him out. If he has money MANAGING problems though, like dear's original post said: "He makes a decent salary, but he’s just not good at managing his finances." Then hell no. Because to me, that means he is a little boy that hasn't learned how to live on his own without his mom yet. Any adult that makes enough money to provide for themselves should be able to manage that money. And I am not going to be his mom and help him out just b/c he is to lazy/dumb/immature to handle his own money.
Muirnea Muirnea 7 years
It depends, if it really is just a rough patch and he just needs help for a little while to get back on his feet etc. then yeah I would help him out.If he has money MANAGING problems though, like dear's original post said: "He makes a decent salary, but he’s just not good at managing his finances." Then hell no. Because to me, that means he is a little boy that hasn't learned how to live on his own without his mom yet. Any adult that makes enough money to provide for themselves should be able to manage that money. And I am not going to be his mom and help him out just b/c he is to lazy/dumb/immature to handle his own money.
Jude-C Jude-C 7 years
I agree completely, karlotta.
Jude-C Jude-C 7 years
I agree completely, karlotta.
karlotta karlotta 7 years
Bluebell, I thought it was very obvious, but I guess it's possible there are women out there who actually WOULD seriously say that kind of stuff... how sad.Anyway, OF COURSE I would lend him the money if I had it. If my guy is down on his luck because of medical bills and student loans (not hookers and drugs!), everything that's mine is his. That's what love is. You don't run for the hills when the going gets rough. Why not leave if he gets cancer, too?Really bad circumstances happened to me ten years ago, and it lasted a long, long time. I'd have ended up on the streets if my then-boyfriend hadn't supported me - without ever saying a word about it, ever asking for anything in return, ever blaming me for one second. He taught me what real love is. I think it says a lot about the way women see men in this country, that they'd consider leaving a man they're supposed to love because he's going through a rough financial patch. I think that's awful. And I'll probably get deleted because of this, but I'd like to add the word "despicable" to that sentence too.
karlotta karlotta 7 years
Bluebell, I thought it was very obvious, but I guess it's possible there are women out there who actually WOULD seriously say that kind of stuff... how sad. Anyway, OF COURSE I would lend him the money if I had it. If my guy is down on his luck because of medical bills and student loans (not hookers and drugs!), everything that's mine is his. That's what love is. You don't run for the hills when the going gets rough. Why not leave if he gets cancer, too? Really bad circumstances happened to me ten years ago, and it lasted a long, long time. I'd have ended up on the streets if my then-boyfriend hadn't supported me - without ever saying a word about it, ever asking for anything in return, ever blaming me for one second. He taught me what real love is. I think it says a lot about the way women see men in this country, that they'd consider leaving a man they're supposed to love because he's going through a rough financial patch. I think that's awful. And I'll probably get deleted because of this, but I'd like to add the word "despicable" to that sentence too.
Mykie7 Mykie7 7 years
And that's not about money, it's about being able to support a family for life. There's a difference there. Karlotta, you go girl. I got the sarcasm in the cheating comment, and you're absolutely right, if HE can't handle his s***, why should I?
Mykie7 Mykie7 7 years
It never would have gotten that far. Right off, if I see he can't manage his money, there's no future and he's gone. Period, end of story.
austerity austerity 7 years
To me, a boyfriend is like a husband. Of course I would help him out. Especially when he's having such bad luck with accidents and parents. It's not like he squandered everything while gambling, is it? And if I thought he were not good at managing his money, I would criticize him for it and set some rules/give advice persistently on what he should change.If you're not willing to do even this much for your man, it indicates you don't have a very serious relationship.
austerity austerity 7 years
To me, a boyfriend is like a husband. Of course I would help him out. Especially when he's having such bad luck with accidents and parents. It's not like he squandered everything while gambling, is it? And if I thought he were not good at managing his money, I would criticize him for it and set some rules/give advice persistently on what he should change. If you're not willing to do even this much for your man, it indicates you don't have a very serious relationship.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 7 years
Calm down, people. I take it that some of you missed the sarcasm in Karlotta's answer????Anyhoo, if I were in a serious relationship with the bf I would probably help. But I would have one condition that he would take serious steps to get back on track.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 7 years
Calm down, people. I take it that some of you missed the sarcasm in Karlotta's answer???? Anyhoo, if I were in a serious relationship with the bf I would probably help. But I would have one condition that he would take serious steps to get back on track.
karlotta karlotta 7 years
You make your own luck; if you're broke, it's of your own doing. Don't come crying to me because you've got medical bills and student loans - you should just be a better driver, and work hard enough to get a scholarship if you can't afford tuition. Men are here to entertain me, not whine for help when they can't handle their shit.
karlotta karlotta 7 years
You make your own luck; if you're broke, it's of your own doing. Don't come crying to me because you've got medical bills and student loans - you should just be a better driver, and work hard enough to get a scholarship if you can't afford tuition. Men are here to entertain me, not whine for help when they can't handle their shit.
Jude-C Jude-C 7 years
It really depends. If you're in a serious, committed relationship, and you don't feel that he's being a mooch, but simply needs help to get back on his feet, then I see no problem whatsoever with helping him out. My fiance and I have both been through hard times, and both helped each other through hard times, and because of the nature of our commitment to each other, that's only made us stronger.
Jude-C Jude-C 7 years
It really depends. If you're in a serious, committed relationship, and you don't feel that he's being a mooch, but simply needs help to get back on his feet, then I see no problem whatsoever with helping him out.My fiance and I have both been through hard times, and both helped each other through hard times, and because of the nature of our commitment to each other, that's only made us stronger.
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