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Handle This: Your Parents Hate His

In the years you've been dating, you and your significant other's parents have met on more than one occasion, though they haven't spent all the much in the way of quality time together. Now that you're engaged, the time has come for them to get better acquainted.

Prior to the night of your engagement party, you plan a dinner for both sets of parents to enjoy. But after less than an hour together, it's clear to both you and your fiancé that they aren't having a good time. In fact, when it's over, both complain separately about how they don't like the other. You're both close to your families and need their help planning the wedding, so how do you handle this?

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bransugar79 bransugar79 7 years
It would be nice if they could all get along but if not oh well. My own parents don't get along so that was my biggest worry. My husband's father didn't come to our wedding and his mother was the reason we didn't start until an hour and a half after our ceremony time. Nobody really made a big stink although I did have to give my mother "the look" a couple of time during the day just to keep her from getting too upset about rude things people were doing. Over all it was fairly drama light.
Renees3 Renees3 7 years
I wouldn't worry too much about it. They should hopefully be adult enough to get through the wedding without bagging on each other and then they don't need to hang out or anything, just go on with their lives. I know it'll be interesting when my bf and my families get together. His mom is very prude and my aunt is an ex stripper haha. Should be good times. i'd just ask them to be cordial for the event and say I won't ask them to interact much.
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 7 years
Um...Id have him tell his parents to grow up and I would do the same with mine. And tell them that if they cant manage that then theres no need for them to come to the wedding.
valancyjane valancyjane 7 years
This kind of thing is why we had a very small wedding - because I knew the two sides were not going to play nice and it would be impossible to make everyone happy. Well, my MIL would have played nice -- she actually IS nice -- but my mom would not. And I would have burst a blood vessel from the stress. A tiny wedding (parents, siblings and us) wasn't exactly stress-free but it was over faster, and I didn't feel guilty about asking people to come from out of town to a tense event. I'm so glad it's over. And now the parents don't have to see each other until grandkids come along. I hear babies solve everything; here's hoping!
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 7 years
Sun, my in laws invited people without telling me, and we had a really small reception planned, It took everything i had not to kick them out.
sunraezz sunraezz 7 years
My parents and my husband's parents do not see eye to eye on anything. when we were planning our wedding, we tried to direct all communication through us so that they wouldn't have to deal with each other. There were a few dust ups (particularly over the size of the guest list) but a gentle (well, not so gentle) reminder from my husband to his parents that my parents were paying for everything after all smoothed things over enough for everyone to be cordial at the wedding. They live in different states so they probably won't communicate or see each other again till grand kids start coming along.
melizzle melizzle 7 years
Ugh... welcome to my life.
melizzle melizzle 7 years
Ugh... welcome to my life.
ohkate ohkate 7 years
mine met his once and it was a disaster. each set of parents thought the other was rude and inconsiderate. it turned out that my parents didn't help with the wedding at all, they didn't even toast us or give us a wedding present (aside from telling me how much I owe them for school). I'd like to say it would be nice if everyone could just get along but I'd rather people were honest about their feelings rather than obviously faking it. with that in mind, we're all better off on our own, especially my parents who are in their own little world.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
i don't really think i'd deal with it at all for times when they were going to be seeing each other (like the engagement party, rehearsal, wedding, joint parties in the future like kid's birthdays etc) i would just try to find out from each what they didn't like (e.g. if it's just that one side is pushing religious values or the other makes racist comments - i dunno just ideas) i would just ask them nicely (each to ask their own parents) to tone it down because not everyone shares those views it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. my grandparents rarely ever see each other...they like each other okay, and they both live in the same small town, but why would they need to get together? they onlys ee each other at nice occasions that is respectful to show up, like the anniversary party of the other thrown by the kids or a funeral of a close relative to pay respects not to mention, if my boyfriends parents were terrible, i have a close enough relationship with my own parents, and they're civil enough that i could just be like, please be nice and suck it up for me! and they would do it!
Berlin Berlin 7 years
Um, I wouldn't really care:) Mine and my SO's parent's have never met...but I know that they won't get along. My mum is just like me, but her own age hehe. But she's crazy and fun and super bubbly, like me! And his parents, well they are calm, reserved, and we're kind of awkward around each other and even within his own family. They aren't going to get along AT all, and I just know the looks and comments my goofy mum's going to make but sorry, they aren't going to effect our lives together and they certainly won't have an impact on the wedding. But then again, hatred is a strong word. So I'm lost on that one!
Jeny Jeny 7 years
oh wow.. I'm not sure how I would handle this because my family means so much to me.. I may engage their help for the things I need and maybe my fiance could get help on the things he needs.. and keep it a little separate? I'm not sure
javsmav javsmav 7 years
first, I wouldn't need their help planning a wedding. Second, why do they have to get to know each other? My grandparents only saw each other at my parent's wedding. They lived in different parts of the country with their own lives. If my parents & in-laws hate each other, who cares?
apma apma 7 years
Honestly other than the wedding itself, I try and keep them apart as much as possible. I'd rather deal with separate families and holidays than drama for the rest of my life. Have the families help with different plan parts of the wedding.
Greentea1203 Greentea1203 7 years
I don't know what I'd do...my boyfriend's parents haven't met mine, and I'd rather keep it that way forever. His are religious freaks and mine, well, not so much. We love being crude, making fun of people and I've never been to church. So yeah, our parents would hate each other.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 7 years
My parents and his have never really gotten along, they dont "hate" eachother, but they arent calling eachother up to share thier lives. His parents paid for nothing at our wedding, not even the rehearsal dinner, his mom actually gave my mom a check to "help out" and it bounced and my mom never said anything about it.
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