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Have You Ever Felt Like You Need a Friend More Than They Need You?

"Have You Ever Felt Like You Need a Friend More Than They Need You?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

If anyone were to ask me who my good friends are, this girl would top the list — only I know that if she were asked the same question, I'd be sixth or seventh. I think it's because she tends to keep more people around her, while I tend to prefer smaller groups. It's always been an underlying factor in our friendship, and when I tried to tell her about it once, she seemed to avoid the subject.

Maybe it's my own insecurity, but she recently found a job that she really likes and it seems like she only hangs out with her co-workers now. I could tag along, but whenever I do, hardly anyone talks to me. It's not only her work friends, either — it's her friends from home, too. I feel like I'm up against her home friends and her work friends, so I'm frustrated. We've had fun both with and without other people, but I've always secretly known that our friendship means more to me than it does to her. Lately I've found that I'm avoiding her on purpose because I feel like we've been drifting apart anyway. She graduates and leaves for home in a matter of months, so the entire friendship seems sort of moot, but I still care about her. What should I do, if anything?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 4 years
One of my friends and I are having this exact same fight right now, but I am in your friend's position. As you said, you're the type of person who would prefer to have a few close friends and she is the type of person who prefers to have a big, diverse group of friends. Personally, I'm the latter and if I only have one group of a few friends I feel unhappy. If the two of you are anything like my friend and I, I can tell you that she's very important to me and I really care about her, but I wouldn't be happy if it were just her and I hanging out all the time. If you can accept her for who she is, then by all means continue to be friends with her. But either way you should focus on making new friends, and ideally friends who are willing to commit the same amount of time and energy to the friendship that you are.
luckyduckyy luckyduckyy 4 years
My only advice to you is to stop waiting for people to talk to you. Talk to them first. Strike up conversations with friends of friends, friends of family, random people you meet at parties or whatever. Eventually, you'll be making friends with all sorts of people, some of whom may be even more fun and compatible than this drifting friend.
Hello-Kitty-Lover Hello-Kitty-Lover 4 years
Yes. Always. You are not alone. I guess the only way to beat this feeling is to look for other friends who would cherish you more. Because friendship, like any other relationship should be a balance of give and take. And in your case and in many similar people's cases too, it looks like u are more on the giving end because you value this friendship more than she does. So my advise or what I always do is to talk more to my family and to look for friends who really cherish you and will put you in the same place as you do them! =D
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