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Have You Washed Your Hands?

Dear Sugar
I am married to a great man who I love very much . I know that women have a higher risk of getting a urinary tract infection than men, so about a year ago I started making my husband wash his hands before we make love.

He has been really understanding about my concern, but I am at the point now where I would like him to take a shower beforehand and I am pressuring him to do so. Is that completely unnecessary? How good is my body at warding off germs and infections? Overly Conscious Catlin

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Overly Conscious Catlin
Does your husband work with his hands? Does he work in construction or a job where he gets dirty? If so, I can understand why you would want him to shower and be fresh before you have sex but if he works at a desk job, showering is a little excessive and unnecessary.

You are correct that women run a higher risk of getting a UTI, mainly because we have a smaller urethra than men which makes it easier for germs to travel up to the bladder. These germs are usually found in your large intestine and in your stool. Once the germs are inside your urethra, they can travel up into your bladder and cause an infection.

The main culprit to getting a UTI is not drinking enough fluids, so keep yourself hydrated. Making sure to use the restroom both before and after sex will lower your chances of getting a UTI and try your hardest not to hold it when you have to go throughout the day.

There is also a pill out now called Microdantin which although it is an antibiotic, it's a low enough dosage to act as a preventative and precautionary treatment for those prone to getting UTIs. It is recommended to take this pill after intercourse but it is prescription, so I recommend seeing a Urologist if you do think you have a UTI.

Drinking cranberry juice is another trick to protect your body and flush out your system. The acids in it are known to help fight off bacteria in your bladder. While it is nice to have a clean husband get in your bed, the chances of getting a UTI from a dirty body are slim in my opinion.

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getstinko getstinko 9 years
seems like overkill to me, washing hands makes sense though
karmapunch karmapunch 9 years
Maybe you could make it fun for the both of you, by showering together before sex?? Then you'd both be squeaky clean and ready to go! :P
gossipqueen gossipqueen 9 years
I shower, he showers, we shower, lol...is OK...just don't get too OCD on him! :)
katie225 katie225 9 years
i like my bf to shower before we fool around, but that's because he's been cooped up in hot, sweaty pants all day and doesn't exactly smell (or taste!) like a fresh daisy down there. he works at a desk job, too, so he's not really dirty, just sweaty and altogether yuck. luckily, he feels the same way i do, and will shower voluntarily. if it's really important to you if he showers, perhaps you could reward his showering with some long fellatio, and when he doesn't shower don't do it for that long? he might get the correlation between the showering and your being more willing to go down on him. otherwise, don't nag and don't pressure. i'm sure you're not going to get a uti from anything except his hands! i've heard that to help prevent UTIs, you should urinate after intercourse. i always do, and i haven't had a uti in years.
honey31 honey31 9 years
I also have the same problem.
LtlCutiePie LtlCutiePie 9 years
I can understand how frustrating that can be, but after having three UTIs and one kidney infeciton this year,I think I could offer some advice. First of all, if you are having problems this bad cranberry juice just isn't going to cut it. I could drink cranberry juice until I go cross eyed and it didn't do anything. Important is of course water intake, and if you have reccurrent infections, have your doctor CULTURE the bacteria to find the EXACT antibiotic that would help. I think showering and washing your hands are a great idea. I don't think you are overreacting. Also, are you on a new birth control? I could directly correlate my bladder infection with the Nuvaring. There is more compelling evidence that UTIs have a strong correlation with hormonal changes in the body. I hope that helps.
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