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Is He a Commitment Phobe or Just a Perfectionist?

Last week when George Clooney split from Sarah Larson, it seemed to be final confirmation that he's a bachelor through and through. Though his decades of dating have led some to speculate about his fear of commitment, new research is aiming to shed some light on men with a propensity for riding solo.

According to this Reuters story, one such man, Carl Weisman, was so tired of being deemed a player that he decided to get the facts on what makes men choose bachelorhood over married life. Surveying more than 1,500 heterosexual men, he concluded that it's not commitment they fear but the possibility that the marriage may turn out less than perfect. Here's more:

Weisman said his online survey found there are three groups of bachelors — about 8 percent who never want to marry, 62 percent [who] want to marry but of which half won't settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30 percent who are on the fence.

As we already know, worries about having a successful marriage are not limited to men, but for anyone, is the potential of ending up in a bad marriage reason enough to avoid marrying altogether? Does this confirm for you that male commitment phobes just need the right woman to rid them of their player habits, or do you think searching for perfection is just another excuse to avoid what they fear?

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Join The Conversation
Winnie-Skinner Winnie-Skinner 4 years
There is a difference between not wanting to get married because you prefer single life and not wanting to get married out of fear. And there are certain "behaviors" that differentiate a commitment phobe from people who simply want to be single. My ex displayed several of them. I just did not realize the significance of those behaviors until now. There is also a difference between not wanting a commitment and not wanting to love and a phobia making you "unable" to do so. Commitment phobia is a anxiety disorder. Not a choice.
Winnie-Skinner Winnie-Skinner 4 years
Yes I sure did and it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I did not know at the time he abandoned me that that was what was the problem because he never told me why. This was almost 30 years ago. He has never married, had children or any other long term relationship. When I saw him about a month ago he said it was because of my family. And initially I was pretty upset. But then I got to thinking about it. 57 years old. Still not married. Excuses after excuse for it. So I did some research. CLASSIC COMMITMENT PHOBIA. When I saw the 25 Top signs of commitment phobia suddenly everything became crystal clear. He is a walking, talking classic case. And he put the blame on my dysfunctional family. Just a really handy, convienent excuse. Finally closure!
AKirstin AKirstin 7 years
Just because you don't want to get married doesn't mean you are *afraid* of commitment. Please... It just means you don't want to get married. It's not a priority for everyone.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 7 years
It's an excuse. Men want to find a perfect woman, but they need to grow up and realize no such thing exists. It's all in the eye of the beholder, and all relationships take work and compromise. Get over yourselves, boys!
Frank-y-Ava Frank-y-Ava 7 years
i think he does have a prob with commitment AND he hasn't found the right one!! eventually he'll find her!!
gossipqueen gossipqueen 7 years
He's gay...simple.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 7 years
If it doesn't feel right for any reason than it's not. George has said that he's not going to get married and I'm sure she was pressuring him and that is obviously is not going to work.
lolababy575 lolababy575 7 years
Commitment phobe doesn't equal up with the fear of a failed marriage. I think a lot of people are willing to make that step... with the right person. My parents and so many of my friends' parents have had really rough marriages (divorce, separation, etc) that it makes me super afraid of what would happen if I failed my partner. I'd rather wait around and enjoy myself until I felt that I was with a person that could stay by my side through those really hard times.
murdock99tx murdock99tx 7 years
Also possible: gay.
cotedazur cotedazur 7 years
I'm not seeing anything profound in this survey... wouldn't not marrying out of fear of a less-than-perfect marriage count as being commitment phobic?
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 7 years
I think in the end most men will want to pass on their genes. If you are powerful and successful like Clooney you probably don't have to marry to accomplish that. Most of the others will be forced to though. I don't see anything wrong with guys who don't want to marry and I don't see anything wrong with women who dont' want to marry. It doesn't go so well for tons of people.
aimeeb aimeeb 7 years
There is no such thing as perfection.
citizenkane citizenkane 7 years
The men that said they are looking for perfection are delusional. There is a huge difference between settling for someone just because you're eager to get married, and being so picky that you are eternally unhappy.
oliveoyle625 oliveoyle625 7 years
There's no such thing as perfect.
javsmav javsmav 7 years
um, that means 70% of men won't marry--no one is perfect.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 7 years
i just think hes always looking for more...something (or someone) new he doesnt seem like the kind of man who can commit to one woman
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