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He Has Pics With Other Girls on Facebook

"Should I Call Him Out on Facebook Pics?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I met a guy off of eharmony.com. We have had a decent handful of dates and I really dig the guy. Everything has been, well easy. He calls, makes plans, communicates . . . he has a lot of qualities that I would like in a guy for a long term relationship. So the other day I noticed on eharmony that we have mutual Facebook friends. so I sent a request. on his fb wall, he recently added a friend who's profile picture is of her . . . and him. To my utter shock! She's basically on his lap. Then the other day he sent a group message to me and 2 other numbers, one of which belonged to the girl from his fb. I can't imagine someone being this dumb, but my question is should I call him out? I don't want to assume the worst and have it be like, his COUSIN or something. But would it be too much if I were to confront him with my concern? And if so, do I wait until I see him next? Or casually ask via text? I suppose if I get no response I'll have my answer . . . HELP!

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chibros chibros 4 years
Helena is right not to ask him anything about it. You rather live your life, do your own things date other guys, when things works out well between you both, then you are guaranty to ask him some irrelevant questions. BUT on the WORST case, if you can't handle keeping quiet, serena18's idea is quiet acceptable but you have to do it in a matured classic way. - Wait until you guys see next time, the you take the opportunity to see his reaction to the question and gauge his response. - Don't ask it in a controlling, obsessive, jealous or nosy way, "who is that girl on your facebook that have her pics where she's sitting on your laps". You might want to take another initiative depending on what the group message was all about.
henna-red henna-red 4 years
Dating is about getting to know each other. If you don't know him well enough to know who else is on his fb page, then you don't know him well enough to be mad because of this pic. If you don't know him well enough to know the answers to all of these questions being posted, then you don't know him well enough to assume, or interpret. You don't need to fiugre out is she's ......you need to continue dating, continue getting to know each other. or not. Now that you're on fb, you can tour around the site to see who she is. You now have a new source of conversation. But to get in his face, and say who is this woman on your lap is way over the line. And asking who the people in his life are is great, unless you're doing it because you're already so obsessed about this guy that a pic gets you all up in arms. The girl in his lap is someone in his life somewhere, and as he is ready to talk about the people in his life, I expect she'll come up, that there will be an easy opportunity to say "hey, who's the gal sharing your pic?" Unfortunatley, the tone of the op's post is about "calling out", "confront" and "who could be so dumb?" Helen in right when she says this is going to send the gentleman scream into the night, and if she really wants to keep seeing him, she needs to cool her jets, and seriously mellow her attitude!
luckyduckyy luckyduckyy 4 years
Just what was the group message? If it was something like "Hey, baby, wanna hang out later?" then obviously he's dating multiple people. But I doubt that's the case (that he sent such a message). He probably sent something like "Hi, how are you?" and just didn't have the tact nor the decency to send out multiple messages. That signals laziness and/or a lack of care. My advice to you is to not let this bother you. You two are single and free to date whoever you want. Perhaps talk with him to make sure you two are on the same page. Ask him if it's alright that you date other people, or if he's expecting to be exclusive with you. But I wouldn't expect too much; after all, you two are only dating and are single. It would be odd if he wanted to be exclusive with you after only a few dates.
amborsita623 amborsita623 4 years
Serena18 brings up a good point. She should just ask. But I'm curious why did he JUST recently add a girl on fb who's profile pic is of the 2 of them? And he's sending group messages to her as well? I can see how this could be interpreted like an ex gf or something that still has unfinished business. I think there could be a way to figure out what his intentions are by asking some questions and not even have to bring up the picture. Because I can see how that alone would look quite clingy. Best is to just be upfront and ask.
Serene18 Serene18 4 years
She wont know unless she asks him about it, for those saying not to bring it up. In her mind she feels that they were talking (yes its weird to assume that they are committed) to take it up a notch. She should talk to him about it to get a complete understanding on things. The man is single, he has no ties. He may just want to have fun and that's fine. BUT if hes leading her on to think that he's feeling her enough to date her then she needs to ask him that, so she can stop wondering and trying to make something out of nothing.
Raynne413 Raynne413 4 years
I agree with Helen. You guys aren't committed and can do what you want. You don't know how old the picture is, and it's not like he's trying to hide it, or he wouldn't have added you.
henna-red henna-red 4 years
I don't mean to offend you, but when I read your post, I think boy, that guy should run away fast. Why is he dumb? Because he shares his life and the people in it on a social networking site? eeechhk I mean you don't know who she is, and you don't know him well enough to know who his friends, family, significant relationships are, and you're getting po'd over a pic on fb.
Serene18 Serene18 4 years
But he may not be looking forward to dating you, might just be for fun. Which is the main reason why I say talk to him about it so that ya'll are on the same page.
Serene18 Serene18 4 years
I agree with Helen on the you looking clingy part because ya'll are not together, so he has no attachments or comittments to you. But at the same time I do see where you're coming from because as women we want to feel and know that we are the only ones that a guy is interested in talking to and being with but majority of the cases we are not because in their minds they are still single and can talk to anyone they want. Mind you that some guys are not like that, we categorize those as MEN. I def. say talk to him about it because this is a mind game that he is playing. Its not fair to you that he's interested in talking with someone else and may end up dating her, its misleading, something that someone should never do to another individual.
amborsita623 amborsita623 4 years
I wouldn't say anything just yet...like Helen Danger said above, you're both single. And if you go off on him as if he's your territory to claim after only a few dates, you're going to scare him off. Continue dating and see how things pan out. If you become official, or more exclusive, then you're in the right territory to share your concern, if it's even a concern at that point.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 4 years
Um hell no you should not call him out. He can put any girl on his lap he wants. He's single, just like you. He's dating lots of people just like he is supposed to. Try it yourself. You'll be less worried what any particular guy is up to that way. A handful of dates doesn't give you any claim on what he does. If you get mad at him you will come off as premature, clingy, drama-addict, and psycho and he will disappear on you. You and I know you are none of those things, but that is how getting mad and confronting a guy you barely know will come across. I've done it, and I know what happens.
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