My friend and her boyfriend broke up after only a few months of dating. Her boyfriend and I had been friends for years before my girlfriend met him and we have always secretly been interested in each other. After they broke up, he confronted me with his feelings and I was caught completely off guard. I am a very loyal friend and would never want to hurt her.
After trying to pick up my friendship again with my guy friend, it just wasn't the same. I couldn't stop thinking about him as more than a friend, but I felt torn because I knew that acting on these feelings was wrong. I kept my thoughts about him to myself for a long time, but then out of nowhere, he and my friend got back together.
I am very confused because now I am stuck feeling hurt, sad and lonely. I regret not jumping on my chance to be with this guy. I know that we could be very happy together. DearSugar, is it too late for us? Did I miss my one opportunity to be with him? Passed Up Penelope
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Dear Passed Up Penelope
You sound very loyal to your girlfriend so if you don't want to hurt her, I think you know the answer to this one. Why did they break up the first time? Have you talked to your friend's guy since they got back together? Do you think he could only be with her because you weren't ready to make a commitment to him?
Do you think he still has feelings for you? Do you think he only wanted to be with you because it didn't work out with him and your best friend? These are all valid questions that need answers before you have to choose between your best friend and a potential boyfriend.
This is a very touchy subject so you are going to have to feel out both parties. You need to ask yourself if you really like this guy or if you just have a bruised ego that he chose your gal pal over you. Remember the reason why you passed him up in the first place and hopefully time will help you see more clearly.