I have been with my boyfriend for just under two years now and I still am unable to say whether I can see myself being happy with him for life or whether I think he is the one for me. I've heard that when you are with the "one" you just know that they are right for you, but I have always felt that in a lot of ways my boyfriend and I are not meant to be together.
I love him with all of my heart and it would kill me to leave him, but our relationship has not been an easy one to say the least. I am almost 13 years younger than he is, which adds a lot of complications, but in a lot of ways we mesh very well together because of the age gap. When we first got together we had a hard relationship because we both had to get used to the age difference and the response from other people but that is no longer an issue.
To see the rest of the dilemma,
He has done a few bad things to me in the past and I am still struggling to build up trust for him again and that is eating me up inside. I also don't enjoy sex with him like I used to because of the trust issues. I feel as though I am no longer enough for him and he needs to access other things like porn, etc. to fulfill his needs. He also never tries to fulfill my sexual needs, but I don't know how to talk to him about it without offending him. He is not all bad; he does treat me very well and cares for me dearly, he looks after me and I know that he loves me. I just feel deep down that God has someone else for me, that this man is not my future, but I'm scared to leave without knowing because I know I will end up back in his arms. What do I do? (Also: I am not with him because I can not get a man my own age. I am very attractive, smart and fun, our relationship just kid of happened.)