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Hindsight Is 20/20

Or so they say. I’ve certainly found that to be the case when it comes to old relationships. I always try to take my experiences, good and bad, with me as I move forward in life, but sometimes I still think it would be nice to go back in time and use what I’ve learned to change or avoid things.

It's truly amazing how after a rough break up and some time to recover, suddenly everything becomes so clear. In fact, in most cases, with a little hindsight, I can actually pinpoint the exact moment that everything changed or things started to go downhill. Looking back, can you see the first sign of trouble in your old relationships? What was it?

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pixelsugar pixelsugar 8 years
I can almost always see the first sign of trouble with past relationships now. It's always so much more difficult when you're in the middle of everything though.
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 8 years
well... a few weeks into the relationship i was supposed to meet my boyfriend at a coffee shop. I came first and while I was waiting for him, there was an obnoxious group of guys who started hitting on me. When my boyfriend came, the guys were like "Pff, that's your boyfriend? You should come chill with us, we are way cooler". I was severely uncomfortable so since my boyfriend wasn't really defending me or himself I was like "Can we please leave, and go somewhere else?" for some reason he didn't want to leave, so we both just sat there getting more and more miserable. Then when i couldn't take it anymore i said I'm going home, he walked me out and we got into a huge fight and he pretty much blamed me for our miserable evening and getting hit on XDWhy I stayed with him for 5 years after that, is beyond me. I thought he was "The One" for the loooooongest time. When in reality.. our first "I love yous" were during a fight...If I was any more experienced I would have known that that's not what relationships are made of, but there was a lot of passion.. from all the fighting I guess. Anywho, you live, you learn, right? I know I won't put up with any shit in my next relationship. I've grown A LOT. Even during that 5 year relationship, I think it taught me how to set boundaries.
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 8 years
well... a few weeks into the relationship i was supposed to meet my boyfriend at a coffee shop. I came first and while I was waiting for him, there was an obnoxious group of guys who started hitting on me. When my boyfriend came, the guys were like "Pff, that's your boyfriend? You should come chill with us, we are way cooler". I was severely uncomfortable so since my boyfriend wasn't really defending me or himself I was like "Can we please leave, and go somewhere else?" for some reason he didn't want to leave, so we both just sat there getting more and more miserable. Then when i couldn't take it anymore i said I'm going home, he walked me out and we got into a huge fight and he pretty much blamed me for our miserable evening and getting hit on XD Why I stayed with him for 5 years after that, is beyond me. I thought he was "The One" for the loooooongest time. When in reality.. our first "I love yous" were during a fight... If I was any more experienced I would have known that that's not what relationships are made of, but there was a lot of passion.. from all the fighting I guess. Anywho, you live, you learn, right? I know I won't put up with any shit in my next relationship. I've grown A LOT. Even during that 5 year relationship, I think it taught me how to set boundaries.
lilwildone1202 lilwildone1202 8 years
oh my god yes! my ex boyfriend chris-i kissed him first when i was drunk at a bar as a rebound thing. my instinct was to give him a fake number, and i did, but he called me out on it. i hesistated again to give him my real one...after i finally did, the next night we were all going to hang out i considered lying to him and telling him we weren't going. my gut was telling me to not bother gettin involved. he seemed so NICE in the very beginning...ugh haha
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I just had a rough breakup a few weeks ago and the clarity came almost immediately. All of the times I had brushed over him not including me in plans, or future discussions... everything...I can even see the turning point where it went wrong! Everything.:(God, I hate you hindsight.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I just had a rough breakup a few weeks ago and the clarity came almost immediately. All of the times I had brushed over him not including me in plans, or future discussions... everything... I can even see the turning point where it went wrong! Everything. :( God, I hate you hindsight.
emalove emalove 8 years
This is so true!
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
hell yea...oh looking back, all of my exes were mistakes and although i tend to regret them i also know that they happened for a reason and taught me alot.
MarinerMandy MarinerMandy 8 years
I wasn't talking about why I was dissatisfied with the relationship. I would try to tip toe into talking about the issues, but he would just dismiss it. Bad of him yes, but now I'm much more out there when I have a problem with something. If I'd done that then, we would have stayed together longer. On the other hand, I'm glad I didn't talk to him about it because shortly after we broke up I realized he really wasn't what I wanted. So I learned something from it to help future relationships AND it got me out of that one. Win, win!
cvandoorn cvandoorn 8 years
Hm...yeah usually when there are no more emotions involved its easy to look back and think: aha! With one of my ex's it was when he started lying about doing cocaine, with another when he disappeared for 5 days and wouldn't pick up my calls, only to finally call me and yell at me for calling him so much...
Bearwoman Bearwoman 8 years
I know this is going to sound stupid, but in a relationship I had five years ago there was a red flag the within the first hour I met my boyfriend! I thought "man is he pushy." But I also thought his "assertiveness" was charming. Little did I know that his pushy ways almost pushed me over the edge. (bad pun intended.) When I left him I was lucky to still have my sanity... Now I don't let anybody push me around.
Bearwoman Bearwoman 8 years
I know this is going to sound stupid, but in a relationship I had five years ago there was a red flag the within the first hour I met my boyfriend! I thought "man is he pushy." But I also thought his "assertiveness" was charming. Little did I know that his pushy ways almost pushed me over the edge. (bad pun intended.) When I left him I was lucky to still have my sanity...Now I don't let anybody push me around.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
For me, the first sign of trouble was when I ignored my gut feeling. I sensed something was wrong with my relationship, but I didn't want to face it. So I stayed, and I experienced a lot of toxic crap. Similarly, when it came to past friendships, I ignored my gut feeling, too, and I experienced a lot of toxic crap. Now I learned (the hard way) to ALWAYS listen to my gut feeling. With no exceptions. :)
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
For me, the first sign of trouble was when I ignored my gut feeling. I sensed something was wrong with my relationship, but I didn't want to face it. So I stayed, and I experienced a lot of toxic crap.Similarly, when it came to past friendships, I ignored my gut feeling, too, and I experienced a lot of toxic crap.Now I learned (the hard way) to ALWAYS listen to my gut feeling. With no exceptions. :)
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 8 years
I was a bitch :ROTFL:Well no, I wasn't TRYING to be a bitch. He just did too many thigns that got on my nerves and I woudl get annoyed and be mean.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 8 years
I was a bitch :ROTFL: Well no, I wasn't TRYING to be a bitch. He just did too many thigns that got on my nerves and I woudl get annoyed and be mean.
bbkf bbkf 8 years
Before I started dating my husband, I was dating another guy and the three of us went to dinner together (awkward, right?). My boyfriend at the time walked right into the restaurant, and my soon-to-be-husband gave him a look, and then held open the door for me. I realized at that moment that I was with the wrong guy. Of course it wasn't the only thing that was wrong with my relationship at the time, but it just solidified the feeling that I deserved better-- and now I have it!
nheart nheart 8 years
Definitely with my last relationship - he dumped me and I can see now, that he really didn't want to be in a relationship for weeks before he actually got the courage to break up with me.
almost-famous almost-famous 8 years
Well... Yes and no!I mean it all depends on the break up and what it was about.
almost-famous almost-famous 8 years
Well... Yes and no! I mean it all depends on the break up and what it was about.
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 8 years
mmhmm. Not really with all my relationships, when my current BF and I broke up the first time, it was different..because there really wasnt a reason why we broke up, it just wasnt the right time for us to be together. While we were broken up I met someone else and was with him for a little over a year..it was a horrible relationship..he cheated on me constantly (which I only confirmed my suspicions after we had broken up) So yeah, after we broke up and I found out for sure that he really was cheating on me..it put everything in place....all the times he didnt answer the phone in front of me, or was "working late", but couldnt answer his phone...among many other things that should have been huge red flags, but for some reason I just didnt want to see it.
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