I'm 24 and have never been in a relationship or have lost my virginity. A lot of areas in my life are going great, but I have never been lucky in the guy department. I don't have much experience with being intimate with someone else. I am now at the age where I am getting more self-esteem, more confident, and slowly having a positive view of my body. I have always been self-conscious, so maybe that's a main reason why I haven't been successful with guys.
Last night at a bar, I met a guy and ended up going home with him. I've never done anything like this before. I have dated guys, made out, but never took it to the bedroom. I went all out with him (without insertion). I knew where to stop and I'm not going to lose my virginity to someone I'm not in a relationship with. But I don't feel guilty at all about what happened.
It's unlikely the guy is going to be my bf. I was just having fun. I decided to go to his place because I know I'm a sexual person and I want to get more experience with being close to someone. I loved having someone on top of me, kissing me, etc. . . I have always wanted to experience that kind of intimacy. I'm aware right now I'm doing this for fun and I honeslty am glad I did it. I feel more confident and comfortable in my skin. I tend to doubt when people say I'm attractive, especially when you are out in a bar. But honestly, I was getting a lot of attention that night — think it's how I'm carrying myself and being happy with who I am. And not just in bars . . . but at work and when I'm out.
I am strangely happy with what happened; the old me two years ago would never do this. There's nothing wrong with doing something like this, is there? I didn't have sex sex with him, but I'm also not going to wait for the right guy to come or to be in a relationship to enjoy myself.