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The How-To Lounge: Being Attracted to the Right Type

For whatever reason, most of us continually find ourselves attracted to a certain type of person. Sometimes you don’t even notice it, but you can usually find a common thread that runs throughout your past partners and love interests. Unfortunately, because of this strange phenomenon, many people end up dating the wrong guys over and over again. The only way to break this cycle is to make a conscious effort to change; to learn how


  • First of all, determine what your type really is. Are you attracted to guys who are innately selfish or who are looking for a girlfriend willing to be their second mother? If you’ve had a bad string of relationships, sit down and closely examine what they all had in common and go from there.
  • Once you’ve determined the “what,” start working on the “why.” Consider what about that particular kind of person is appealing to you. For many women, the belief that they can change someone is a huge part of the attraction.
  • Now that you’ve located exactly what it is that you need to stay away from and why you’re so drawn to it in the first place, you can really start working to change things by examining each encounter with a potential date closely. Pinpoint exactly where your attraction is coming from. As hard as it may be, if it feels like your usual pattern, you have to just walk away.
  • Often when we’re starting to date someone new, we focus on the butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling more than we should. That feeling is important, but it shouldn’t be the only thing you rely on. Start digging deeper right in the beginning; what else does he have to offer you besides that initial attraction?
  • Give a new kind of guy the benefit of the doubt. Instead of writing him off, start taking note of the things you do like about him. This doesn’t mean you have to force something that isn’t there, but it’s great practice for retraining your mind to look for the attributes that you want to start going for.


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