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The How-To Lounge: Building Trust

Like a broken heart, broken trust is hard to mend, and sometimes it can feel as though it never will. Whether it’s in regards to a healing relationship or just fighting your own personal demons, the process of rebuilding trust takes time and patience. While I do believe that time is the most important component, there are some things that can help along the way. To check them out,

  • Whether you’re dealing with the battle scars of childhood issues or bouncing back after being cheated on, the first step in trusting is forgiving yourself. It sounds silly, but it’s shocking how often women place the blame on themselves. This kind of mentality will only serve to make you feel like you’re not worthy of trust, and you are!
  • Don’t try to convince yourself that you feel better when you don’t. It’s OK to be hurt and it’s OK to be scared. If you let yourself feel those things, you’ll avoid the repression of emotion that could come up later down the road.
  • Focus your attention on the people in your life whom you can trust. They will remind you that there are good people who can love you unconditionally.
  • Try to avoid the natural inclination to cut yourself off from others; you need the support so take advantage of it when it's offered to you.
  • Expect the best, but prepare for the worst. Don’t give up hope in yourself or in others, but remember that we all make mistakes, we're only human after all.

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rpenner rpenner 8 years
this has been an issue with me. i'm really working at it. it definitely takes time
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 8 years
Sorry, didn't mean to double post!
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 8 years
That part about forgiving yourself is so true.
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 8 years
That part about forgiving yourself is so true.
bellaressa bellaressa 8 years
No problem, I always love reading all the comments, gives me different POVs.
PeachyKeen19 PeachyKeen19 8 years
This is a great post and I love Bellaressa's idea :).
Tullia Tullia 8 years
awesome tips Dear! Trusting yourself after a personal offense is hard, but its a must. Nobody is perfect.
DearSugar DearSugar 8 years
Hey Bellaressa: Thanks for the great suggestion. Stay tuned!
bellaressa bellaressa 8 years
Lovely_1 it's great your putting forth the effort and that your bf is being supportive and helping you. There are some people who have been so hurt and they can't see past anything else and they view all people (the man or woman) to be evil and they force that role on the next person.
Belle1031 Belle1031 8 years
I agree with Bellaressa. I would love a post about dealing with letting go. I need one desperately right now.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 8 years
Yea my boyfriend has really been working on me with this one. iw as really hurt from my last relationship...I couldn't undertsnad how someone can tell you they love you and then all of a sudden just stop. And i am SO afraid this will happen with him, and I do tell him this too. He is really good with me though. He tells me he hoenstly does love me - so much! - and that he can never just stop. he reminds me we have been togetehr for quite awhile now, and he still gets butterflies in his tummy! And that he can see us beign together for a very long time :) It makes me feel a little bit better :)
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 8 years
Yea my boyfriend has really been working on me with this one. iw as really hurt from my last relationship...I couldn't undertsnad how someone can tell you they love you and then all of a sudden just stop. And i am SO afraid this will happen with him, and I do tell him this too. He is really good with me though. He tells me he hoenstly does love me - so much! - and that he can never just stop. he reminds me we have been togetehr for quite awhile now, and he still gets butterflies in his tummy! And that he can see us beign together for a very long time :) It makes me feel a little bit better :)
bellaressa bellaressa 8 years
Great tips. Maybe you can do a post about people who can't let go. I notice more and more people who have had bad experiences with women or even men in relationships and bring that baggage to each relationship they have and it hinders the start of any relationship.
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 8 years
Great tips. I needed this.
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 8 years
Great tips. I needed this.
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