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The How-To Lounge: Coping With Rejection

Rejection is an awful mix between being extremely offended and feeling like an utter failure with some shame and humiliation on the side. And of course, even if you try to avoid it, it’s going to happen eventually. While I don’t have any surefire ways to make rejection painless, I do have a few ideas to make it a bit easier. To check them out,


  • Because there’s something so embarrassing about being rejected, the natural reaction is to either pretend it didn’t happen or prevent it from happening. I don’t recommend either of these. Begging someone to change their mind will only make you feel worse and acting like it didn’t happen won’t change the facts.
  • Once you’ve given yourself a reality check, go ahead and feel bad for a while. Even if you didn’t really like the person all that much or didn't really want that job, getting kicked to the curb is always a blow to your self-esteem so don’t be afraid to whine to your friends. Let them remind you of just how amazing you really are!
  • After you’ve worked through the sadness and embarrassment, it’s natural to start to feel angry, but instead work on not taking it so personally. While you may be a completely amazing person inside and out, not everyone can love you — it truly is their loss!
  • When it comes to relationship rejections, always keep in mind that you don’t want to waste your time on someone who doesn’t want to be with you. Even if you really liked the person and saw potential, if they don’t want to make it work with you then it’s never going to work.
  • Don’t let it scare you. Probably the most important part of handling rejection is making sure that it doesn’t hold you back. Unless you’re willing to miss something really great, you have to pick yourself up and get back out there!

Rejection isn’t fun, but a little can go a long way when it comes to learning an invaluable lesson about yourself, so take it in stride. Most rejections end up being hilarious stories down the road anyways!


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JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
I hate rejection and need to be reminded how great I am over and over again. I'd never ask guys out in high school because I didn't want to be rejected, it's scary.
austerity austerity 8 years
Rejections on the career front actuall give me a boost to want to do better. Rejections in relationships however must be killing (haven't been there yet, hope I never will).
cordata cordata 8 years
Sorry to hear that brittb7. Rejection is horrible, especially in a relationship. You don't just lose the person, you lose who you thought you were and all the future possibilities. I think the hardest thing is having to make a conscious decision about what your next step is going to be. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" applies here ... although the stronger part can sometimes take a really long time to emerge. But it will come! :)
bikinib7 bikinib7 8 years
i'm learning to cope with rejection. after 3 years in a serious relationship, my boyfriend has told me he needs "space" (yeah, what a copout) and wants to be with his friends. the worst part of it all is that i always thought i was the one less attached.
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