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The How-To Lounge: Dealing With Others' Jealousy

The How-To Lounge: Dealing With Others' Jealousy

True jealousy is never kind or understanding, which is why when you’re confronted with it, it's typically mean, bitter, and just plain hurtful. But looking past the anger, and finding ways to deal with someone else’s jealousy can be very productive. To see my tips on how to do just that,

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  • Remind yourself over and over again that their negative attitude comes from a place of jealousy and insecurity; it doesn’t mean that there's anything wrong with you.
  • If someone is unjustifiably angry with you, the natural impulse is to lash out and get defensive. But whatever you do, don’t attack back. It will only serve to fuel the flames, and in the long run, it’s not likely to make you feel any better.
  • Instead, kill ‘em with kindness. Once they realize that they can’t break you, they’ll eventually accept defeat. Plus, personally I find nothing more satisfying than knowing I was the best I could possibly have been in a conflict.
  • Even though we don’t always like to admit it, often the frustration we feel when we’re attacked by someone stems from the truth we find in their words. It’s certainly not always the case, but if you find it to be true in your situation, instead of getting angrier, try working on yourself. No one can ever find fault in people who make an effort to improve themselves.

If all else fails, just ignore them and remember that it's their problem, not yours.

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ella1978 ella1978 7 years
It happens a lot in my field. Competitive jealousy. If you get a project or a job that someone else thinks they deserved or for whatever reason believe that you don't, they get jealous, and mean. And if they are the same age, relatively, they get rude, and talk about you behind your back. We have a couple people at my firm like that. You can't tell them what to do, they are better than you in their eyes. It's hard to deal with, esp. when they used to be your friends, until you got that project. It's a rough atmosphere to exist in every day. I try to think positively, but really I just end up retreating back to my cube, and not leaving often.
ella1978 ella1978 7 years
It happens a lot in my field.Competitive jealousy.If you get a project or a job that someone else thinks they deserved or for whatever reason believe that you don't, they get jealous, and mean. And if they are the same age, relatively, they get rude, and talk about you behind your back. We have a couple people at my firm like that. You can't tell them what to do, they are better than you in their eyes.It's hard to deal with, esp. when they used to be your friends, until you got that project. It's a rough atmosphere to exist in every day. I try to think positively, but really I just end up retreating back to my cube, and not leaving often.
lickety-split lickety-split 7 years
never got the whole jealousy thing. someone else doing their best has nothing to do with me. if i earn $1,000,000 it's not as if there's $1,000,000 less for someone else. when my friends have good things happen to them i'm happy for them and if something happens to someone i don't like i figure, odds are, it can happen to me too!
callmecheezcubes callmecheezcubes 7 years
I know everyone is posting about how horrible jealousy is...but I would be wrong to admit I don't get that way sometimes. I hate it. I hate feeling jealous. Its the worst feeling and makes me feel like such an awful person, even though I know I'm not. If you find yourself being the jealous, and not the envied....whats the best way to stop it before it gets you in trouble or hurts your close relationships? Because i don't care if people are jealous of me. I cant control their feelings. I can only be me. But when I feel like I'm being jealous, I know I've got to change something quick before it causes serious problems. Does any of that make sense, or am I sleepy an delusional?
Sporky Sporky 7 years
I'm always incredulous of someone being jealous of me in the first place, there's nothing to be jealous of.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 7 years
Ha. I like it when people are jealous of me. Makes me that much more motivated to keep doing great things.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
I've written this before -- jealousy is ugly on people.Truthfully, if someone is hurtfully jealous towards me, in a TOXIC manner, it's a deal-breaker. If it's a friend, I would break-up with them. If it's a family member, I would put down some serious boundaries.This may sound harsh, but I don't tolerate toxic jealousy. Personally, I'm never jealous towards my friends and family. I'm so happy for them when they have good things. I am very supportive. I expect no less from them. If they're toxic towards me when I have good things, I don't think they deserve my friendship or relationship.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
I've written this before -- jealousy is ugly on people. Truthfully, if someone is hurtfully jealous towards me, in a TOXIC manner, it's a deal-breaker. If it's a friend, I would break-up with them. If it's a family member, I would put down some serious boundaries. This may sound harsh, but I don't tolerate toxic jealousy. Personally, I'm never jealous towards my friends and family. I'm so happy for them when they have good things. I am very supportive. I expect no less from them. If they're toxic towards me when I have good things, I don't think they deserve my friendship or relationship.
AujahAcorn AujahAcorn 7 years
Jealousy is horrible. thank you for posting this. I am having a, to put it lightly, big problem with my cousin. boy oh boy I could tell some stories! It has gotten to the point, for my own understanding, I am looking up stuff she is doing and trying to catorigized her in a personality disorder. gesh!
AujahAcorn AujahAcorn 7 years
Jealousy is horrible. thank you for posting this. I am having a, to put it lightly, big problem with my cousin. boy oh boy I could tell some stories! It has gotten to the point, for my own understanding, I am looking up stuff she is doing and trying to catorigized her in a personality disorder. gesh!
darkangel2305 darkangel2305 7 years
I just bought an AWESOME home for an even better price with my bf. We are VERY young so we are so happy about this great accomplishment. However a lot of my friends have been "blah" about the whole thing. Now a few of them barely email me (I moved out of town a year ago, so most of my friendships are long distance). This actually started as soon as I started getting serious with my bf and I made a very CONSCIOUS effort of not ignoring them or changing our communications habits because of the bf… It hurts my feeling because I would ecstatic for them if their life was finally taking shape (I haven't been the luckiest in love) or nice things happened. :(
SLH04 SLH04 7 years
Very good advice..thank you..
SLH04 SLH04 7 years
Very good advice..thank you..
emalove emalove 7 years
Great advice...I can't deal with people with jealous ways...
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