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The How-To Lounge: Giving a Relationship Another Try

Just because a relationship ends, doesn’t mean that your feelings suddenly come to a screeching halt too. In fact, sometimes without that person in your life, your feelings can grow, and you can be left with the longing to try things over again. Certainly I’ve seen many couples try to give their relationship another go, but not all are successful. So I’ve come up with some things to consider when giving a past relationship another shot. To see them


  • Some may disagree with me, but I don’t think it’s actually possible to start fresh. The mistakes you made before will always be with you into the future, so there’s no point in pretending that they don’t exist. Instead, embrace them and learn from them. What did they teach you about yourself and each other as a couple?
  • Although it’s possible for people to change, truth be told, unless it’s been a very long time apart or one of you has gone through some serious life-altering events, it’s unlikely that either of you has drastically changed. But that’s OK; it doesn’t mean that it can’t work out. But don’t rely on the “change” you’ve both experienced to fix things. This is going to take real work.
  • You need to be clear about what your needs are, both in the short-term and the long-term. Don’t delude yourself into thinking that you’ll just make it work because you now realize how much you love each other. That’s not reality, and just like at the beginning of a totally new relationship those feelings fade with time.
  • Finally, figure out exactly what you want for yourself out of this. Are you willing to do whatever it takes? How long are you willing to put aside to see if it’s working again? These are important questions to keep in mind as you go through this process. They’ll keep you clear-thinking and grounded.

Healing a wounded relationship is a hard road so be ready for the challenges along the way.


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