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The How-To Lounge: Making Sure you're Ready to Move in

The How-To Lounge: Making Sure you're Ready to Move in

Moving in with your boyfriend is a huge step, one that takes serious consideration, so it is imperative that you ask yourself and your partner the appropriate questions before taking the next step in your relationship. I receive many questions from women asking if they are ready so hopefully these tips will help you determine just that.

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  • Don't move in with someone out of obligation or to get out of a bad living situation with a roommate or your parents
  • Be sure you have tackled the money talk. Will you be opening a joint bank account, who will pay the rent, the bills, the housekeeper, the groceries, etc. Be sure you are certain he can afford to pull his weight before you sign a lease
  • Have a conversation about household chores. Many women get agitated if their partner doesn't pitch in, especially if one person is a neat freak and the other is a slob
  • Ask yourself if you are comfortable with being yourself all the time around your mate, revealing every flaw, sharing a bathroom, etc.
  • Be sure you are on the same page about drinking, smoking, going out with friends, having alone time, home decor, house guests, etc. so you are not constantly arguing about something you will never see eye to eye on
  • What are your reoccurring arguments? Be sure you have a grasp about how to move past repeat fights -- just because you are moving in together, you are bound to still have your fair share of arguments
  • Before you move in together, have a talk about your future. If you are awaiting a proposal because you are moving in together, make sure you are not going on false expectations. Have a timeline set and know what you are getting yourself into
  • Although it is never fun to talk about the possibility of a breakup, talking about dividing your assets might be a good idea

All in all, trust yourself. If you are truly "ready" to move in together, go for it! Good luck to all of you.

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SexyNeverLeft78 SexyNeverLeft78 8 years
I'm married and think that this is a wonderful checklist! Definitely good points to think about. Love it!!!
starla619619 starla619619 8 years
good tips! i live with my boyfriend and i couldnt be happier although i do get annoyed when i'm cleaning and he doesn't help me right then but he's wonderful.
Feesje Feesje 8 years
I think it's a good idea to move in BEFORE you marry. That way you really know if the two of you can actually live together. My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years, and three years ago we moved in together. It has only made our relationship more profound, but we have had our downs as well. You really get to know a person when he's there all the time. I think you should know ALL aspects of someone's personality before you marry, so that you REALLY know what you're marrying into. Mendo, it's not because every one of your friends who lived together without being married has broken up that there is something wrong with the moving in thing. If they had been married they would probably have the same fights, realise that they can't live with each other and they would still end up divorced.
cravinsugar cravinsugar 8 years
im waiting to move in with my man until we are married. If he proposes and wants to move where i am to work before the wedding, then i will let him move in my apartment, but that is the only way...
LEX0 LEX0 8 years
I THINK Y0U SH0ULD M0VE IN BEF0RE Y0U MARRY, THAT WAY Y0U'LL HAVE A TEST DRIVE! & VERY G00D TIPS DS!
tchan01 tchan01 8 years
Granted everyone ie entitled to their opinion on this, but I really think it depends on the person. I'm very open minded about things in general so I think you really need to evaluate the two people and the situation. I'd hate to say you shouldn't move in until you're married because I think you can truly learn so much when you do.
HistoryGeek913 HistoryGeek913 8 years
All very good points Dear! My now-husband and I moved in before we were married, and obviously it worked out fine. Same with my BFF and her now-husband. I have, however, witnessed a couple ugly breakups from couples who moved in and weren't prepared for it. Hopefully your list helps people really evaluate what moving in together really means.
bookgirl bookgirl 8 years
I keep thinking about moving in with the bf, but am worried that it won't work (because he's been driving me crazy lately) and also kind of want to live by myself once I'm finally out of my parents house. I want to prove to myself that I can be independent and take care of myself. Thanks for the tips, Dear! I'm sure they'll help me make the right decision down the road.
pinupsweetheart pinupsweetheart 8 years
Good timing. I have seen a lot of posts on the Group Therapy with women moving in with their guys for all the wrong reasons.
em1282 em1282 8 years
mendo--I tend to agree. I don't think moving in is stupid by any means, but I don't know...I guess it depends on your situation. More power to anyone who can do it though :)
nicachica nicachica 8 years
thanks for the post Dear! i've been hoping you'd do one on this for awhile. :) very useful since my boyfriend and i are going to be moving in together this summer.
nicachica nicachica 8 years
thanks for the post Dear! i've been hoping you'd do one on this for awhile. :) very useful since my boyfriend and i are talking are going to be moving in together this summer.
likethedirection likethedirection 8 years
I lived with my past boyfriend for three years. It was so fun and we got along very well. We broke up because we had different goals for the future. It had nothing to do with our living situation. Because we were both mature and understanding, it was easy to divide up our stuff and go our separate ways. If you have a strong relationship, moving in with each other is not going to ruin that. If anything it should make it stronger.
rainonme224 rainonme224 8 years
I'm actually moving in with my bf the 1st so thanks for the tips! We're both definitely ready! I have to admit I am a little nervous, only because I've always lived with my parents and now I'm going to have to rely on him or myself but I have a great outlook on it all.
mendo mendo 8 years
I know it's old fashioned but I say move in when you're married. There are so many hassels that go along with living with your boyfriend and if you both agree completely on everything on that checklist, just get married. I think moving in together is stupid and every friend I know that's done it (except 1) has had a horrible breakup and dealt with a lot of trouble all for the sake of shacking up.
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