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The How-To Lounge: Meeting New People

While I'm sure there are plenty of you out there that have absolutely no problem meeting new people, the rest of us can sometimes feel like there aren't any fish in the sea. Even if you're out and about all the time, it can be easy to fall into the habit of just socializing with your close-knit group of friends instead of branching out and stepping out of your comfort zone. Sometimes the most basic ways to meet new people are the ones that we forget the fastest. To get a reminder course in meeting people before the weekend,

  • Once you're out, start looking around you. Keep your eyes open for guys that are checking you out. Sometimes we miss the people who are showing us interest — making eye contact, glancing in our direction, or throwing us a quick smile — because we forget to be aware.
  • As scary as it can be to take the initiative, you may be surprised how effective introducing yourself can be. When people are out socializing, it usually means they're looking to talk. All it takes is one introduction to get a conversation going.
  • Learn to follow your instincts. If someone seems really kind, and you get the vibe that they're a decent person, consider giving out your phone number — you never know what the outcome could be.
  • By all means, once you've started a conversation, keep your attention focused on the person. There's nothing more frustrating than talking to someone who's eyes are anywhere but on your face. Remember to pay attention — listening gives you more topics of conversation and you'll avoid awkward lulls.
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mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 8 years
I hear ya, pinkmermaid! I just moved to NYC and want to meet new girl friends. I just joined that Meetup.com site so we'll see how that goes?
pinkmermaid23 pinkmermaid23 8 years
This is great for meeting men, but how come it's so hard to make new girlfriends! I'm trying to branch out and break away but it's difficult.
looseseal looseseal 8 years
Haha, and what Asia84 said is so true! Sometimes you get the "look of suspicion" if you're somewhere by yourself, too. I'm guilty of doing the "What do you want from me? What is your motive?" thing sometimes. I do try to be nice most of the time, but I don't think it's safe to throw caution to the wind, either. A lot of scammers and crazies out there.
looseseal looseseal 8 years
I think the internet potentially works better as a way to look for friends than to look for a "mate". The physical-attraction thing isn't going to be as much of an issue with friends. And if you're a woman with the objective of meeting other women as friends, the risk of the other person turning out to be some kind of creepy predator is a lot less than if you're looking for a man to, uh, mate with. I do notice that there seems to be a lot of people out there in the interwebs who lost touch with their friends at around their 20s or up for a variety of reasons, and would like to make new friends but is at a loss as to where to start. Going out into the "real world" alone with this objective is kind of disheartening, because most people go out in groups, and it's pretty hard to get an "in" with a group of people who are already friends. I do actually go out by myself sometimes and so people don't have a hard time approaching me, and on occasion I do meet people this way, but I do kind of lament the lack of other people by themselves who I can approach. If I were extra courageous I could approach a group, but seriously, I'm not that brave. It's usually someone temporarily separated from the herd bringing me to a group if they so chose, which makes me a little more passive than I'd like.
Asia84 Asia84 8 years
i live in los angeles. i'm sorry, but if you speak to someone random here, you get a dirty look. like, "whhhaattt. eeww. who are you????" or "what the f*ck do you want!?" or the all time hollywood classic "what do you want from me? what is your motive??" and as much as i love california, so many ppl lie (guys lie everywhere, but it's a way of the dragon in LA)here in los angeles, so you don;t feel as inclined to talk to them anyways.
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 8 years
Meeting new people is scary... le sigh.
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
I suggest three websites: 1. http://www.meetup.com This tries to get people together based on a common interest and locale. 2. http://www.craigslist.org Don't laugh at this, but I found my best friend via the Platonic Personals section of Craig's List. 3. http://www.consumating.com This is a bit more of an indie/hipster-ish site but they have a lot of region-based activities (consumeetings) and the people are very down to earth and fun.
aistea311 aistea311 8 years
I am such an anti-social. I smile in people's directions but nothing is returned. I just walk through the crowds.
1QTPIE 1QTPIE 8 years
I like these tips....
1QTPIE 1QTPIE 8 years
I like these tips....
FAVORABLE_MONA FAVORABLE_MONA 8 years
Great tips to meeting people.
FAVORABLE_MONA FAVORABLE_MONA 8 years
Great tips to meeting people.
almost-famous almost-famous 8 years
These are great tips. however, it depends on your area. My area is more of an urban set and sometimes these guys are going to approach then just glance. They like to let the woman know their presence. For a friend part, all women usually stay in their comfort zone. Hardly any will lash out on her own... So that makes it hard for women like me to meet new people. You can't talk to one girl, you have to talk to her, her partner in crime, her close friend and her best friend.
almost-famous almost-famous 8 years
These are great tips. however, it depends on your area. My area is more of an urban set and sometimes these guys are going to approach then just glance. They like to let the woman know their presence. For a friend part, all women usually stay in their comfort zone. Hardly any will lash out on her own... So that makes it hard for women like me to meet new people. You can't talk to one girl, you have to talk to her, her partner in crime, her close friend and her best friend.
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