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The How-To Lounge: Reacting When He Can't Perform

The How-To Lounge: Reacting When He Can't Perform

I don’t care how long you’ve been in a relationship, it’s always a difficult scenario when your man can’t perform. But, it happens — to everyone. And while it's not the end of the world to most women, it can be devastating to a man. For some helpful tips on how to cope with a situation such as this, click here to

  • Don’t repeatedly ask him what’s wrong or why it happened. Once should be plenty sufficient, and trust me, he probably doesn’t have an answer.
  • It’s likely that he’ll no longer be in the mood, so don’t force anything right then. Give it time, a day or two, and then initiate things again, but go slowly. It’s likely he might be feeling some residual anxiety.
  • Even if he acts frustrated, try not to return the sentiment. Instead, maintain some affection. You don’t need to smother him, but rest your hand on his stomach or give him one last good kiss before going to sleep.
  • Though this isn’t a big deal (really, it’s normal!), don’t say, “It’s not a big deal.” You don’t want to undermine how he’s feeling, it’s better to convey that through your actions.
  • Don't take it personally! It doesn't mean your boyfriend isn't attracted to you, turned on by you, or totally blown away by you, in fact, that's about the least likely scenario.


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