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The How-To Lounge: "Sharing the Pants"

The How-To Lounge: "Sharing the Pants"

Though it’s true that some relationships work best when one person is making the big decisions and wearing the pants, so to speak, most relationships need an equal balance. Unfortunately, finding that balance is easier said than done, especially when both halves of the couple have strong personalities. To check out my tips for learning to share that responsibility,


  • While most of us know how important compromise is in a healthy relationship, we tend to forget that it’s not something you can just do on a whim. In fact, it should be taking place constantly.
  • Take the time to acknowledge a smart choice that your partner has made, especially if it’s a decision that you didn’t initially feel great about. Offering praise when it's due is one of the best ways to keep up a positive balance in a relationship.
  • On that note, go ahead and pat each other on the backs for a job well done when you work through something difficult together. This way the hard times will always end with a hopeful and positive display of affection.
  • Arguments often become the forum for a person to exert control in a relationship, but our desire to “win” shouldn’t hurt our ability to come up with a solution to the problem. It’s important to learn how to just let it go, even it that means letting the other person have the final word.

As with all of the most valuable elements of building a relationship, learning to "share the pants" requires compromise from each party, so make sure that it’s something you’re both up for!


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