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How Can I Persuade My Parents To Approve?

Dear Sugar
I am hopelessly in love with an older man. His charm and witty sense of humor make him irresistible to me. All of the guys I have met that are my age are immature and indecisive. I feel like I've finally found someone I can relate to and who's on the same page as me.

The problem is that my parents aren't supportive of my decision to move in with him. He is a different religion than I am, he has two children and he is 22 years older than me. My parents didn't think our relationship would last, and now that we are moving in together they are panicked.

I am so sick of my parents bugging me about why I am with him. I happen to love him deeply; I love his children as my own and I am devoted to making us work. As close as I am with my parents, I am not going to let them break us up, however their incessant disdain is draining me. Is there anything I can do to convince them to accept my boyfriend? Determined Dita

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Determined Dita
Being happy in your relationship should be your number one priority. Age is technically just a number, although an important factor to to take into consideration if you see a future with this man. Are your parents aware that their lack of support is very painful for you? Does the difference in your religion trouble you as well? Even though you love his children, do you want a family of your own one day?

I hope that you can see that your parents are just trying to look out for your well being, however, their approach is only hurting you. Being with a man 22 years your senior could lead to a harder life for you later down the road. People can be very judgmental when it comes to differences in: age, race, religion, etc... and perhaps your parents are trying to spare you from being exposed to hardships that could be otherwise avoided.

You sound very committed to this relationship, so finding a middle ground with your parents is a must. Try talking with them about your feelings and let them know you are moving in with your boyfriend regardless of their cynicism. Express that their support would make all the difference in the world to you. Reiterate how wonderful your relationship makes you feel and that they will only drive you away if they don't learn to accept your decision.

You are the best judge of your own choices in life, so if being involved and committed to this relationship feels right to you; then go with it. You only live once and it might as well be with the man of your dreams.

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