I have so many friends that have been in a relationship for over a year, who are complaining that the fire is less than blazing in the bedroom. The beginning was all fireworks and romance, and now it's such an effort to keep things going sexually.
It's totally normal for couples to hit a dry spot. The excitement of getting to know someone new wears off and while having tons of sex all the time used to seem appealing, now it's just tiring and let's be honest, who has the time? After a while, your relationship changes, and the lust and passion gets replaced with a level of comfort and unconditional love.
This is a wonderful level two people can share, but that doesn't mean sex should be forgotten. Here are some ways you can keep the spark alive.
- Distance definitely makes the heart grow fonder. Just because you are "together" doesn't mean you have to do everything with the other person all the time. Go on little weekend trips with your girlfriends, sign up for weekly yoga classes, or walk your dog by yourself. Doing things away from your significant other will give you both a chance to miss one another.
- On the other hand, if you're having a problem connecting because your work schedules are so different, set up "Date Nights." Pick one night a week where you know it's just you two. Make dinner together, go see a show, rent a movie - whatever you choose. It's something you can both look forward to.
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- Make a point to go to bed early. If you both slip into bed by 9pm, no one can say "Babe - it's too late for that. At this stage in the game, scheduling your intimacy might be the only way to ensure that it happens.
- Don't eat a huge meal right before bedtime. It's bad for your body and makes you feel too sluggish for fun. Try to eat a lighter dinner or finish eating at least 2 hours before you're planning on hitting the sheets.
- Play the YOUR Turn - MY Turn game.
- Bring something new into the bedroom - A sex toy, a book on sexual positions, erotic music, porn videos (some couples love watching them together), or massage oil. Adding a new ingredient to your regular love-making recipe may be just the thing to deepen your sexual experience.
- Bring sex to a new place. Spend the night at a hotel, rent a beach house, go camping, or drive your car down a county road, even another room in your house will do the trick. A change of scenery and some time away can be relaxing and a real turn on.