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How Do I Stop Worrying About My Relationship

"How Do I Stop Worrying About My Relationship?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I think I have relationship OCD. I am really afraid of ruining a great thing by my constant worrying. I worry about everyday life things like the next person, but overall am pretty laid back and happy and carefree. But when it comes to my relationship I feel like a crazy person! I know it's because I love this person so much, and that's a scary feeling.

I definitely have some trust issues (with myself and with other people). For a little while I felt like all my fears and insecurities were totally justified, so I would bring them up and try to talk it out, thinking it would make me feel better. It didn't, and almost destroyed my relationship in the process. Luckily my partner really loves me and helped me seek some counseling and trusted that I would move past it. I have definitely gotten better, and I have made the positive step of at least realizing that these are my thoughts and not my feelings, and that I am in control of them. I feel like I have gotten some control over my reaction to them — but not so much control about whether I think them or not! I've been going with the fake it til you make it approach. Maybe it's just baby steps and I need to be more patient, but I am SO TIRED of worrying about things that I shouldn't be worried about, or worrying about things that worrying is never going to solve/prevent from happening.

I am a Virgo so it's in my nature, and my childhood definitely left me with a control freak mentality, like if I could make things right nothing would go wrong. I feel like I'm realizing the things I need to realize, but I really need help in re training my thoughts! I am looking for real practical advice here — books, websites, techniques that have helped you or a loved one? Words of encouragement or success stories are also welcome, I just want to let this weight go!! Thank you all.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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