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How Do You Know If a Guy Is Interested?

Group Therapy: Is This Guy Interested?

This question comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Last night I went to an art opening with some friends. The artists gave speeches about their work at the beginning of the event, and I couldn't take my eyes off one of them. He looked familiar but I couldn't figure out why. Later on in the night he was walking by me and I tapped his arm and told him how much I loved his work and that the event was great. He smiled, said "thanks" and then said, "Ashley, right?"  I was confused as to how he knew my name, but then he explained that we had actually met at a party several years earlier (we have a mutual friend).

 

I was impressed (and flattered) by how much he remembered about me. He knew my hometown, what I studied in college, where I had worked, etc. We talked for a good portion of the night, and I felt like we were really hitting it off. When the night started winding down I noticed that the other artists were busy taking orders from potential buyers. I made some comment about how I hoped I wasn't keeping him from doing work he needed to do, and he smiled and said "nah, I'll get to that." So, we continued talking. Later, he mentioned that he was debuting more work at a new gallery the following saturday and told me I should come by. I said that I would. Then he excused himself and said he had better join the other artists and take his orders. We said goodbye, he thanked me for coming and said, "I hope to see you at the show next week."

So, basically I left a little disappointed that he didn't ask for my number or anything. Keep reading. . .

I felt like we were hitting it off so much, but now I'm questioning whether it was all in my head. I hate the fact that the ball is now totally in my court. If I don't go next week I may never see him again... but if I DO go, I'm afraid of coming off as desperate. What would you guys do in this situation? Do you think he's interested at all, or that he was just being polite inviting me to his next gallery show? Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

PS. He is single... I found this out through a friend last night.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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dfserine dfserine 5 years
Not desperate at all. If you are interested go for what you want. He didn't ask for your number or anything so he wouldn't open himself up to getting turned down. This way, he will know you are interested too by showing up... and if you don't he will be disappointed but it is an indirect blow.
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 5 years
I might go; but, I wouldn't stay too long. Have something else planned that you need to attend. If you really like his work & can afford to buy something, that would be a sweet gesture. Then, leave the ball in his court /move on.
JessicaM25 JessicaM25 5 years
I think you should soooo go. Maybe he is just feeling you out and by the way go by yourself and dress up nicely and be yourself! It's 2010, maybe you can give him your number and suggest meeting up for dinner. :)
GregS GregS 5 years
I think the consensus is you should GO! Hands also say to go SOLO. I would dress appropriately for the event. Men are curious about what's under the wrappings, so give a peek, but not the whole show. That's for his artwork. ;) Go have fun and good luck.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 5 years
For gawd's sake - GO! :)
redchick152 redchick152 5 years
definitely go to the next show! honestly, i don't think he would remember all that stuff about you if he wasn't interested. like someone else said, the question is "how much". if things go as smoothly as they did before, either suggest the next meeting or just slip him your # on a napkin. you have nothing to lose, right? i mean the last time you saw him was YEARS ago! you don't have to worry about being embarrassed if he doesn't call b/c chances are, you won't see him again.
kristints kristints 5 years
It's funny that I happened to read this today. I'm in a very similar situation with a guy at the moment. If he invited me somewhere, I would definitely go! I don't think it would make you seem desperate, it would make you seem interested!
bryseana bryseana 5 years
He's definitely interested. He remembered all those details about you from years ago. That's pretty special. You should go to his next show.
inlove23 inlove23 5 years
Go get him!! You can do it! Don't come off too extreme, and go alone.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
He's so into you! Go, go, go, go!
Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 5 years
I think you should go to the next show. And I think you should go alone. If you are there with someone it will most likely keep him from talking much to you because he doesn't want to be rude to the person you are with. If you go alone he will be able to talk to you without having to worry about hogging your time. Maybe he doesn't know if you are interested, and that's why he didn't ask for your number last time. If you like this guy don't wait for him to ask for your number, just give it to him.
Yesi-Jukebox Yesi-Jukebox 5 years
I think that he may be interested but maybe he wasn't too sure if you were interested or just being polite. So show up to the next show, just don't show up too early because then it might look a little desperate.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
Agree that you should go to the event with a friend, but make sure that you have a chance to talk to him alone, as he may be too shy to ask you for your number in front of your friend. Look hot, but not like you are trying too hard. Also, make sure your friend is not as cute as you...why borrow trouble?
neuromuse neuromuse 5 years
I think you should go to the gallery. It'll show you're interested in his work, and that says a LOT about a person..artists can be very self-conscious. However, I think you might be reading a bit too much into some of this. Yeah, he remembered your name, hometown, etc. but I'm not sure that means anything. Some people have amazing memories for bits of info, and he might be one of those people who just remembers...whether he truly cares or not. I'd say the first step is to go to the gallery (since you said you would anyway), dress to kill (like the others have said), and see where it goes from there. :)
Erika-Giselle Erika-Giselle 5 years
you should go! he remembered you after all these years...think of all the other people he has met within that time span and yet he has still kept a decent memory of you. i think you should go for it!
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
The ball is in your court and you need to hit it back like it's Wimbledon! I think you should go alone, if you bring a friend you'll give him the impression that you're only there for the art. And personally I think it is rude as hell for a guy to ask for my number. The polite and slick thing to say is "I would like to give you my phone number." If things go well I suggest you say exactly that.
turtleshell turtleshell 5 years
He is interested, you're interested... go to the the opening! Good luck. (:
michlny michlny 5 years
OMG - GO!!! He is testing if you are interested!!
KateAthens KateAthens 5 years
He's interested for sure...But how much? Thats the question. The bad thing is he should ask your number. If you just go to his show he will think "oh this chick is so into me". So agree with Dikke. Dont dress too much. He will think you're desperate. Show up late. Better with a girl friend and a guy friend.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 5 years
He's interested. Go to the next show with a friend. Show up a few minutes late. Dress to kill. Be sure not to buy anything but ask him tons of questions about being an artist and he will like that a lot. Ask him what his favorite medium is and why he decided to be an artist. Tell him you really admire people with talent. Lay it on but not too much. Then let him get your number but be sure that he asks. Don't act too disappointed if he doesn't ask. Maybe as you're excusing yourself to leave for another party he will grab you last minute to get your contact info. If he does then you're on your way to at least one nice date. Good luck and have fun.
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 5 years
OP, This guy is definitely into you. It sounds like he is a little shy. But it is better that you spend some time hanging out with him and getting to know him before you start dating him. Find out if you have any common interests besides art. What interests does he have besides art -- find out.
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