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How to Be in a Friends With Benefits Relationship

How to Hook Up With No Strings Attached

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, Fox News Magazine. Today, we get advice on hooking up with someone without it getting serious.

We know we're not going to fall in love with every person we meet. And sometimes a "no strings attached" fling sounds more appealing than a full-fledged relationship. But the casual "hook up" can lead to a broken heart. How do you know if yours can handle it?

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Amy Laurent, professional matchmaker and star of Bravo's Miss Advised, says it starts with being honest with yourself.

Know what you're getting into. "This isn't about convincing a girl to do it," says Laurent. "This is for women who say, 'No, this is what I want, and I'm okay with it.'"

Read the situation. "You met a guy at a party or you hung out with him — and he's not exactly courting you and asking you to dinner," she says. Don't lie to yourself about the situation — it's nothing more than a casual fling.

Have the upper hand. Laurent says it's imperative that you have the upper hand. How do you know you're in control of the situation? "You don't find yourself constantly thinking of him during the day and you don't find yourself looking at your phone extra times to see if there's a text," she says. "If you're doing either of those things, you can't do it. There's part of you that likes him."

If you don't have feelings for the person, you're not going to think of them during your day. "You get busy and forget about him," Laurent says. "If you're attracted to him and you're not thinking of him that much — or caring — then you're in control. And that's what it's about — you have to be in control."

Once you're in control, the rest is up to you.

Image Source: Thinkstock
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JenniferQ484 JenniferQ484 3 years
@Paul3604581 Or, you could do whatever you like, and not worry about equating the number of sex partners you have had to some bullshit math problem that will determine how desirable you are to men.
Paul3604581 Paul3604581 3 years
Remember that every time you do this, you increment your "N". In the world of "game", alpha men use N (the number of men you have had sex with) as a measurement of your desirability as a potential mate. The higher your "N" the less desirable you are to alpha males. The only men who are going to ignore your high "N" are beta males, and you know already none of them are going to make you happy. So, have a great time and remember ... you stand the chance of ruining your self for the rest of your life.
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