We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, HowAboutWe. Here are some great ideas for when you're finally moving to live near your long-distance love.
The time has come. After x months/years of living y miles away from your one true love, you finally live in the same place. No more LDR! Alls well that ends well, right? Not so fast.
When in an LDR, it's easy, logical, and even encouraged to imagine that once you and your love live in the same city or under the same roof everything will be glitter and unicorns and "honey, don't lift a finger; I'll wash the dishes." Everyone knows a relationship is a living, breathing entity so even a positive change (like lessening physical distance) will have some side effects. Here are a few things to keep in mind while adjusting to life . . . together:
1. Sit down for a DTR.
"Defining the relationship" talks are legit. You probably haven't had one since you and your love interest moved from "are we just friends?" territory into a full-blown (long-distance) love affair. This chat won’t be the same as before because your relationship is already defined in that it exists. What now needs to be defined is how to make sure your relationship withstands this new reality.
It's important to set aside time early on, in between "I'm just so happy we're finally *together*" gushing sessions, to lay ground rules and manage expectations. You'll be glad you laid a solid foundation and voiced not only your fears and hopes, but also your expectations. You may need to have a few chats and that's okay. Bumps along the way are inevitable but will certainly be more manageable post-DTR.
2. Be mindful of giving each other space.
This sounds like the antithesis of everything you think and feel, right? Remember this, though: you've both gotten pretty comfortable living separate lives. While it’s great that physically your lives are now joined, you still probably aren't used to having someone in your space at their will. Even if you don't live together, you risk smothering the other person by making yourself at home too fast and too soon. Yes, you're both madly, deeply in love and isn't it so cute that your love leaves a mug out for your morning coffee? Except no, because that's not your favorite mug and you like your coffee iced. Even though you have presumably spent a good deal of time in each other's spaces, be respectful of boundaries, don't assume too much, and keep communication open (see above re: the DTR).
For two more tips, head to HowAboutWe: 4 Tips For Transitioning From an LDR to Living in the Same Place
Check out more great stories from HowAboutWe:
- The 5 Most Horrifying Examples of Underwear on Etsy
- This is Why You Should Never, Ever, Ever, Let Your Date Use Your Phone.
- Sister Husbands: 2 Men Agree to Marry the Same Woman