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How to Have a Quickie and Not Get Caught

How to Have a Quickie Without Getting Caught

When it comes to quickies, "don't keep the Queen waiting" is probably a good rule to follow. According to a new book about French President Nicolas Sarkozy and his wife, Carla Bruni, the first lady kept a senior head of state waiting while she and the prez did the deed.

Later, Bruni supposedly asked Michelle Obama if she had ever found herself in a similar situation: "Bruni wanted to know if, like the Sarkozys, Michelle and the President had ever kept anyone waiting that way," writes Jonathan Alter in The Promise: President Obama, Year One. The Sarkozys are known for their lateness, and the Daily Mail speculates it was an appointment with the Queen that was delayed.

Hey, when you lead a busy life, sometimes a quickie is the perfect fix for a relationship sex slump. To find out how you can make it quick without getting caught,


  • Watch the clock. In the heat of the moment, it's tempting to extend your quickie into a longie, but be aware of how much time you have and how much time you'll need to freshen up.
  • Pick a secret spot. A locked bedroom is ideal, obviously, but if that's not an option then find a place that's out of sight and earshot where no one is likely to barge in. Some ideas: a secluded closet or bathroom, the top-floor stairwell of a building with an elevator, or in the back of a car (with tinted windows, please).
  • Use a condom. Even if you're on the pill, a condom will make the deed less messy and cleanup much easier.
  • Zip and button up. Make sure you and your co-conspirator double-check each others' clothes to make sure all zippers and buttons are fastened properly. Nothing says "we just had sex" like misaligned buttons.
  • Have a good excuse if you're late. Make it seem like you really hurried, to explain the flush in your cheeks.
  • Don't kiss and tell. Especially if you happen to be the French first lady.

Share your quickie tips below. Très readers and first ladies will thank you.

Image Source: Getty
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