We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, The Date Report. Do you have a hard time turning a guy down?
I think we all know the drill: boy walks up to a girl in the bar, boy chats her up, girl rejects him, and boy walks away. I see it happen almost every time I'm at the bar, and yet so many of my friends tell me that they have a hard time turning a guy down at a bar (or on the subway or in line at the grocery store or online). For some reason, people opt for a very passive way of turning a guy down — turning away, ignoring, or even giving out a fake phone number – but this just wastes time and his feelings will be doubly hurt when he realizes the ruse. Sure, different women have different ways to deal with it, and different guys, depending on their sleaziness or persistence, deserve different responses. So what can you do if he's just not giving up? Let's go over some options:
Can I just get it over with and give him my number?
The Reasoning: He'll go away if he successfully achieves the goal of getting your number. Granting him such a boon will make him feel good, so you won't feel guilty. Plus, he'll have a token to show his buddies when he inevitably leaves you at the bar — which is your goal successfully achieved.
Should You Do This: No. Why would you give him false hope? Sure he went away, but it's only done for that moment. It'll come back to haunt you in the morning or in three days when he's texting you, trying to figure out your schedule and is "super flexible with whatever works best for you." If you were always going to turn him down anyway, might as well do it that night at the bar.
Can I avoid it if I give out a fake number?
The Reasoning: It's not like he's going to call you right that second, right? Just have a fake go-to number ready to dole out to the losers you don't want messaging you later. Might as well take it to the next level and make up a name, backstory, and absurd accent while you're at it.
Should You Do This: No. That's dumb. Don't give him a fake number. Just tell him you're not interested. On the other end of that fake number is a sad high schooler working the late-night shift at the local pizza joint. He doesn't need Julio or Jacob or whoever from the bar last night trying to get into his pants on top of all that. He has an algebra test to study for. Spare everyone.
Can I make up a fake boyfriend as an excuse?
The Reasoning: If the guy's just not getting it, make up a significant other who's waiting for you at home. The guy at the bar won't know you're lying, and you're trying to be a person of morals — as moral as anyone lying about having a boyfriend would be, anyway — so he should be a gentleman and just move on.
Should You Do This: Sometimes, maybe. Without a doubt, it is effective, but if he's being so persistent that I feel the need to make up a boyfriend, I'd rather he knew that his personality and not my lack of availability framed my decision.
To see the rest of the ways to reject a guy at the bar, head over to The Date Report: The 6 Ways to Reject That Guy at the Bar
— Georgette Eva
Check out more great stories from The Date Report:
- We Can't Believe These Pick-Up Lines Actually Worked
- 10 Ways Science Can Make You a Better Flirt
- Stop Telling Single Women They're "Fabulous"