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How to Take a Compliment

Group Therapy: I Can't Take a Compliment

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

You know that person that always turns a compliment around just to point out why they don't deserve the praise you're giving them? Well, I think I'm one of those people. 

I know how annoying it is to say something nice to someone just for them to say that you're wrong and tell you that really they are really bad at whatever you just commended them for. I think I feel it's a nicety or just polite to give someone a compliment. I feel like when people compliment me it's more of an obligation on their part than them trying to be sincere and considerate. How can I stop this behavior in myself?



Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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looseseal looseseal 5 years
In some places, like where I hail from, it's considered the polite thing to pretty much tell someone they're wrong when they compliment you. It's humility or something. Needless to say, after being taught that for all your formative years, it's still quite an adjustment to come around to simply saying thank you and accepting the compliment.Some compliments might be kind of fake, but even if you don't mean it that way, rejecting compliments can come off like you're actually fishing for more compliments by fake-rejecting the compliments given to you. So with that in mind, better to just take the compliment, whether it was sincere or not. I know it takes some getting used to when you're used to rejecting compliments, but you can do it!
looseseal looseseal 5 years
In some places, like where I hail from, it's considered the polite thing to pretty much tell someone they're wrong when they compliment you. It's humility or something. Needless to say, after being taught that for all your formative years, it's still quite an adjustment to come around to simply saying thank you and accepting the compliment. Some compliments might be kind of fake, but even if you don't mean it that way, rejecting compliments can come off like you're actually fishing for more compliments by fake-rejecting the compliments given to you. So with that in mind, better to just take the compliment, whether it was sincere or not. I know it takes some getting used to when you're used to rejecting compliments, but you can do it!
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
I think it's very common to do that, I used to all the time. When someone would say, "You've lost weight." I would say, "I still have 10 to go" or something like that. Then I started just saying thank you and letting it go. It was hard, but I'm comfortable with it now.
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
I think it's very common to do that, I used to all the time. When someone would say, "You've lost weight." I would say, "I still have 10 to go" or something like that. Then I started just saying thank you and letting it go. It was hard, but I'm comfortable with it now.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 5 years
Start giving more compliments yourself. See how people react. When someone acts grateful and a little bit happier just because of what you said, you'll feel really good. Then you can decide whether you want to give that gift back to others.The best way to take a compliment is to believe it is true--from that person. It probably is. Who has the time or energy to go around lying to people about their new sweaters and haircuts? Let the compliment warm you a little and smile. Then say thank you. Once you get good at that, you can start bouncing the compliment back by saying something nice about the other person's shoes or whatever in return.It isn't about the words. It's about a brief little exchange of affection. Makes the world a nicer place to live in. Blockading positivity like that will just make you sad.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 5 years
Start giving more compliments yourself. See how people react. When someone acts grateful and a little bit happier just because of what you said, you'll feel really good. Then you can decide whether you want to give that gift back to others. The best way to take a compliment is to believe it is true--from that person. It probably is. Who has the time or energy to go around lying to people about their new sweaters and haircuts? Let the compliment warm you a little and smile. Then say thank you. Once you get good at that, you can start bouncing the compliment back by saying something nice about the other person's shoes or whatever in return. It isn't about the words. It's about a brief little exchange of affection. Makes the world a nicer place to live in. Blockading positivity like that will just make you sad.
lovelittle lovelittle 5 years
post some daily affirmations where you can see them and work on complimenting yourself. if you can feel good about yourself then you'll be able to feel good when someone else recognizes it too.
pax4pax pax4pax 5 years
You need to work on your self-confidence -- not every compliment is meaningless and unfounded. Presume the best and you'll be surprised how many more compliments you'll receive.People giving them will feel better if you accept and, as @Pistil said, just say, "thank you."
pax4pax pax4pax 5 years
You need to work on your self-confidence -- not every compliment is meaningless and unfounded. Presume the best and you'll be surprised how many more compliments you'll receive. People giving them will feel better if you accept and, as @Pistil said, just say, "thank you."
Pistil Pistil 5 years
Just say thank you.
Pistil Pistil 5 years
Just say thank you.
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