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How do I Tell my Parents He Moved In?


Dear Sugar--
My fiance and I have been together since July 2006. I love him and couldn't imagine being with anyone else. I have met the man that I want to have children with, live through good times and bad, and spend the rest of my life with. In December of 2006, he moved into my apartment. We love each other and wanted to start getting out of debt so that we could save up for a house, engagement ring, and wedding.

I am 28 and have been living on my own since April 2006, and I am a very responsible adult. My question is, how should I let my parents in on the knowledge about my fiance and I already
living together. They are extremely old fashioned and don't believe in living together before marriage, but are aware that I am having financial difficulty. My siblings know that we are living together and although they swear they haven't told my parents, it is going to slip eventually, so any advice would be greatly appreciated.
--Moved In Molly

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Dear Moved In Molly--

There is really only one thing you can do here Molly, and that is to just be honest with them about your living situation. While I am sure you respect your parents' old fashioned values and position on cohabitation before marriage, it sounds like you have made an adult decision to do what is right for you and your future with this man. Starting a life together is expensive so I don't blame you for wanting to get a jump start on saving for your future.

Some families abide by the don't ask don't tell policy, but since you have now been living together for six months, I think it is about time to truth came out. You're right, it's just a matter of time before your secret slips out, so I am sure your parents would appreciate hearing the news straight form the horse's mouth so to speak.

It is obvious that the repercussions of the truth won't be too severe since you didn't hesitate to make the move without consulting your parents, so sit them down, face to face, and give them the news. Explain to them exactly what you told me and hopefully they will be understanding and supportive. Good luck!

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