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Husband Gave Me Herpes

Group Therapy: Husband Lied About Sexual Health

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My husband was in the military before I met him and contracted herpes.  He knew he had it and was treating it secretly.  Before we got married I asked him if he's been tested for HIV and everything and he said yes and that he didn't have anything.  Now after 16 years of marriage and 2 teenage kids, I found out that he has it and he never told me!  I had to ask him!  Who knows if he ever would of told me!  I'm so hurt and angry I don't know what to do.  He's a great guy, everyone loves him, we have a great marriage, but who does that???!!  Is he really the person I thought he was?  He said he was ashamed and scared I woudn't marry him.  He could of told me when I got pregnant the first time!  I wouldn't of been so mad and happy that HE told me instead of me figuring it out.

Find out more after the jump.

How do I get past this?  He claims he thought I knew — NO!  After 10 years he said something about having a sore, but I didn't know where it was and he never told me he went to the doctor nor what the doctor said.  Just within the past 2 years he's started taking Valtrex.  I don't know what that is!  I don't listen to commercials.  I asked him about it one day, "what do you take this for anyway?"  He jsut kinda brushed around it saying "Oh, just some red sores, like pimples"  He did NOT say "herpes"  why after 14 years of marriage would I think that open sores meant he had herpes?

So now what do I do?  Just give it time and deal with it?  This is the only time he's ever lied to me.  Even though there are a bunch of little lies about it.

Do I forgive him and stay together?  I think I'd be more miserable without him :(  I have not been tested yet, I go Thurs.  I may have had breakouts but thought they were jsut pimples from shaving.  As I read other's posts, I don't have some of the simptoms they have.  Could I have passed it on to my children and now they have to get tested?  They are 15 and 13.

Thanks for reading my story and any comments you may have.

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