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I Drank Too Much With Co-Workers

Group Therapy: I Drank Too Much

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

So . . . Let me explain the situation:

About a month ago, I was on a business trip. I've had this specific client for a year and a half, and I've made several trips out to the client's site. On one of the last nights of the trip, two employees from my company and I went out to dinner. I hadn't been out with them before, and they wanted to go to two bars after our meal. I should have just gone back to the hotel. I think you know where this is going.

Anyways, I definitely got drunk — my colleagues were drunk too (not that it makes it right). I remember the night fairly well up until getting back to the hotel and I remember taking a bath when I got back to my room. Still, it feels a little fuzzy. I assumed that all was well, except I'm back at that hotel tonight, and when I checked in, one of the guys at the counter gave me a funny look, and then said, "Welcome back."

I have a funny feeling in my gut that I made a fool of myself that night. Am I just being paranoid because I'm guilty that I allowed myself to drink that much in the first place? Would it be stupid/inappropriate to pull that hotel employee aside, and ask him if I did something the last time I stayed here? How do I live this down? I'm going to have to continue coming to this hotel as long as I have this client. I feel so embarrassed.

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Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 5 years
You're being paranoid. Maybe the guy was trying to give you his 'sultry' look because he thinks you're cute. It could just as easily be that. Who knows? Could be anything. One thing's for sure: Drunk people are dime a dozen in a hotel and not worthy of comment. Genuine hotel employees and alumni just confirmed it in this thread. So the least likely conclusion is actually the one you're jumping to. Don't get so drunk with strangers in public anymore and you won't ever have to worry about it again. Or go ahead and do it discreetly and let people (except for clients, obviously) think whatever they want. It's not as if someone from the client is going to go gossip with the hotel bellman. But don't try to play it both ways or you'll just hate yourself. Which is not how you need to feel the next morning when trying to get ready for a presentation.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 5 years
You're being paranoid. Maybe the guy was trying to give you his 'sultry' look because he thinks you're cute. It could just as easily be that. Who knows? Could be anything. One thing's for sure: Drunk people are dime a dozen in a hotel and not worthy of comment. Genuine hotel employees and alumni just confirmed it in this thread. So the least likely conclusion is actually the one you're jumping to.Don't get so drunk with strangers in public anymore and you won't ever have to worry about it again. Or go ahead and do it discreetly and let people (except for clients, obviously) think whatever they want. It's not as if someone from the client is going to go gossip with the hotel bellman. But don't try to play it both ways or you'll just hate yourself. Which is not how you need to feel the next morning when trying to get ready for a presentation.
Micha22 Micha22 5 years
Wow really? She said she went out with two coworkers, who also drank. NOT her CLIENT. You know what...I say don't ask the hotel clerk because who cares? Yes, what you did is probably a bit risky but I think you're worrying too much! Unless I read this wrong and your client was involved that night, I think you need to lighten up a little on yourself!
gamergal gamergal 5 years
For what it's worth, I wouldn't ask. What's the point? It was a mistake and it happened over a month ago you said? It's not like it was last night. Just work on forgetting about it and moving on with your life and career. We all make mistakes, just make sure you learn from this one :)
gamergal gamergal 5 years
For what it's worth, I wouldn't ask. What's the point? It was a mistake and it happened over a month ago you said? It's not like it was last night.Just work on forgetting about it and moving on with your life and career. We all make mistakes, just make sure you learn from this one :)
dahliadreamer dahliadreamer 5 years
I have the same rule as spacekatgirl. It's NEVER good to risk your job for a night of fun, regardless of how tempting it may seem. Although you weren't drinking with your clients, coworkers are ok as long as you don't overdo it, although that's what appears to have happened. But NEVER at work functions or work-related gathers where there's a chance you will make a fool of yourself. There's your cash flow on the line there, hun. Don't bother asking the employee. What's past is past, and all you can do now is start from scratch and rebuild your reputation with the hotel as a respectable, professional individual.
dahliadreamer dahliadreamer 5 years
I have the same rule as spacekatgirl. It's NEVER good to risk your job for a night of fun, regardless of how tempting it may seem. Although you weren't drinking with your clients, coworkers are ok as long as you don't overdo it, although that's what appears to have happened. But NEVER at work functions or work-related gathers where there's a chance you will make a fool of yourself. There's your cash flow on the line there, hun. Don't bother asking the employee. What's past is past, and all you can do now is start from scratch and rebuild your reputation with the hotel as a respectable, professional individual.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I don't think you should ask. Let it go and use it as a lesson not to drink at work functions.
ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 5 years
Don't ask the hotel employee. I have worked in the hospitality industry for years and if a customer asks me what I think about their behavior I always have to play it down and make them feel good and still welcome to come back. You are not going to get this truth out of this guy. The fact that they aren't keeping you from coming back means you didn't do anything bad enough for them to ask you to leave. I would let it go, learn from it, and make sure that you return your behavior to normal when in that hotel. They will forgive you and move on, I'm sure they've seen much worse.
ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 5 years
Don't ask the hotel employee. I have worked in the hospitality industry for years and if a customer asks me what I think about their behavior I always have to play it down and make them feel good and still welcome to come back. You are not going to get this truth out of this guy. The fact that they aren't keeping you from coming back means you didn't do anything bad enough for them to ask you to leave. I would let it go, learn from it, and make sure that you return your behavior to normal when in that hotel. They will forgive you and move on, I'm sure they've seen much worse.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
Let it go. So what if you made a fool out of yourself, you can't change that. What's done is done. Just don't mix excessive drinking with work situations again because it never ends well.
lcrox07 lcrox07 5 years
I would ask also. Just excuse yourself. But I would want to know. Just brush it off, it might break the ice between you and the hotel clerk. It can benefit you later.
lcrox07 lcrox07 5 years
I would ask also. Just excuse yourself. But I would want to know. Just brush it off, it might break the ice between you and the hotel clerk. It can benefit you later.
Pistil Pistil 5 years
Don't ask. Are you sure he was giving you a funny look, or is it all in your head? I work at a hotel and I don't necessarily need a crazy reason to remember a returning guest. Plus it's not the hotel clerk's opinion that you should be worried about.
GregS GregS 5 years
Lesson learned there. I used to consult a lot. I'd occasionally be asked out for dinner, too. Sometimes drinks after. There's a limit to how much fun you can have with a client and still be able to stand in front of them as an acknowledged expert. Getting drunk with them will not accomplish that. If you're going to do this gig for a long time, you have to learn when you can let your hair down and when you have to keep a tight grip on yourself. When you're with a client, you're a god/dess; nothing less. Act accordingly. When you're alone in the hotel room, or in the bar with fellow travelers, that's when you can relax some. Still, remember that the people in the bar could be your next employer...
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
Don't ask. He's a hotel employee. He deals with drunks all the time. What's even the point? Do you want to relive that night, or would you rather act like your non-drunk self and put this semi-embarrassing experience behind you?
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
I would definitely ask, and then after you hear the gory details, offer an apology to him/her, and anyone else whose name comes up (hopefully no one). I would also be sure to add that you don't make a habit of that behavior and then live up to that. People do forget things in time, it will fade. Good luck.
pax4pax pax4pax 5 years
Ask the employee. And learn to control yourself. You could ruin your career and your future.There's fun and there's work. Make sure you know where the boundaries are.
pax4pax pax4pax 5 years
Ask the employee. And learn to control yourself. You could ruin your career and your future. There's fun and there's work. Make sure you know where the boundaries are.
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