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I Feel LOST

Dear Sugar--

I'm lost. I just finished college and now have my first $30K plus BBA (bachelor's degree in business studies) at 31 years (sad but true); I'm stuck in a rut. I have about a 3.45 GPA or something...I didn't go to Stanford, Yale, Harvard, so no job offers are landing on my doorstep. I live in the middle of nowhere...seriously, NW Minnesota...middle of nowhere.

I feel lost. I think I should start studying for the GMAT and go back & get a Master's. I swear all the good jobs require an MBA or Master's these days, right?

I have tried looking in all the right places for a job, even a
telecommuting type job, and cannot locate anything. I'm 31, I have no kids, I have 2 cats, and I have a boyfriend whom I love so much that I stay in this piddly little town for his sake.

Do I accept the fact that I will be doomed forever to a life of misery and failure? Or does someone actually feel that life can sometimes be fair and I should be able to have both things I want? I feel like I've been wounded in a sword fight, crying my eyes out each night is not ideal. What can I do?

--Lost Linda

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Lost Linda--

It may make you feel better to know that many people feel as frustrated and stuck as you do. It sounds like you are really motivated and want to fix this situation, so that's a great first start.

Getting your masters will give you a leg up, but keep looking -- there have got to be some jobs out there that pay more than $30K that don't require the degree. Talking to a career counselor might be helpful as well. They could offer suggestions as to what your next steps need to be taken in order to get a higher paying job.

I know you said that you love your boyfriend and want to stay with him, but your career sounds equally important, so have you thought about moving to the closest biggest city with him? Remaining in an unhappy job and town isn't healthy for you or your relationship, so explore your options, because you have some here - it just might take some time to make it happen. Good luck Linda.

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Join The Conversation
nessabum nessabum 8 years
i agree with andaman. you need to go out and see things nowadays. and be happy. find little things that make you happy. and think about it. some people don't even have a guy, a job, or a degree.
tinyspark tinyspark 8 years
Linda - congrats on the BBA! No degree is useless. Remember that. :)Second of all, grad school can be a scary prospect but it's actually not the big scary deal everybody makes it out to be. I thought there was no way I'd get in but I did. Check into it! 31 is not old these days...I'm almost 30 myself and still have a couple of years left.Good luck! You've got the drive there, so you'll rock it!
tinyspark tinyspark 8 years
Linda - congrats on the BBA! No degree is useless. Remember that. :) Second of all, grad school can be a scary prospect but it's actually not the big scary deal everybody makes it out to be. I thought there was no way I'd get in but I did. Check into it! 31 is not old these days...I'm almost 30 myself and still have a couple of years left. Good luck! You've got the drive there, so you'll rock it!
kittycat kittycat 8 years
hang in there pumpkin. jobs are hard to find. am a recent grad, and i worked my ass off for years, and they are all like related to my "degree" either its employment or volunteer. good grades arent everything. also it depends on ur major, there are different things in business, if ur in a field where there are lots of grads its going to be harder to get a job. small towns are such limitation to job huntings. i would suggest u join an internship program or a job service provider to which companies go to and trust in the hiring process. to distinguish urself from other grads, u need to have the good marks, the professional work and volunteer experience.i was blessed enough to find work within 2 weeks of finishing exams, but hang in there and keep ur head up. patience is the key. i know cuz i hate job hunting too.
kittycat kittycat 8 years
hang in there pumpkin. jobs are hard to find. am a recent grad, and i worked my ass off for years, and they are all like related to my "degree" either its employment or volunteer. good grades arent everything. also it depends on ur major, there are different things in business, if ur in a field where there are lots of grads its going to be harder to get a job. small towns are such limitation to job huntings. i would suggest u join an internship program or a job service provider to which companies go to and trust in the hiring process. to distinguish urself from other grads, u need to have the good marks, the professional work and volunteer experience. i was blessed enough to find work within 2 weeks of finishing exams, but hang in there and keep ur head up. patience is the key. i know cuz i hate job hunting too.
Marci Marci 8 years
andaman's suggestion to save up and travel is a good one. Things definitely look different when you come back. I also suggest throwing caution to the wind and just pack up and move to a big city. You're still young and can start over since you don't have a husband or children, and it sounds to me like you're up for the adventure. Just do it. Don't look for all the reasons why you can't. Look for all the reasons why you can.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 8 years
Everyone's given you great advice so far. I just want to say you're not a failure you've gotten your BA and that is a great step and you have the drive and ambition to move up in the world. I know it seems like your options are limited because of where you live but even if you have to commute a little bit its worth it for your career who knows maybe seeing you succeed will inspire your boyfriend to persue a job in the city too.
Vannuccia Vannuccia 8 years
I agree with the travelling suggestion. If you're at a loose end at the moment and have got money to do it, why not see a bit of the world before you settle down? I used to live with someone who was unhappy with her job and the direction in which her life was going, so she decided to go travelling for 6 months on her own and it definitely helped her out. Also she was 32 at the time (she left her boyfriend at home and they're still together), so go for it- there's no time like the present as they say! :)
andaman andaman 8 years
Yeah life is one big learning curve. You just have to figure a way of riding your waves right.
junebrug junebrug 8 years
Andaman is right, travel while you have the chance, once you're married with kids, it will be virtually impossible, and IMHO, you learn much more from the school of life than from grad school anyway.
Beautifulbarbie Beautifulbarbie 8 years
Yeah traveling would be great.Hang in there you will find the right job.
Beautifulbarbie Beautifulbarbie 8 years
Yeah traveling would be great. Hang in there you will find the right job.
kendallina kendallina 8 years
I couldn't find a job for over two months after I moved in with my fiance in his tiny town. I finally got a call from a firm a little over an hour away for an interview. I interviewed and they offered me a job. The commute is going to suck, but sometimes you just have to suck it up and do what you've gotta do. Now, we are motivated to put the house up for sale so we can move closer to my job, where there will also be opportunities for my fiance to get a new job. May I suggest you look for a job outside the general area where you live or that you move to a larger town. If your boyfriend isn't interested in moving with you then try a long-distance relationship or even ending the relationship.
kendallina kendallina 8 years
I couldn't find a job for over two months after I moved in with my fiance in his tiny town. I finally got a call from a firm a little over an hour away for an interview. I interviewed and they offered me a job. The commute is going to suck, but sometimes you just have to suck it up and do what you've gotta do. Now, we are motivated to put the house up for sale so we can move closer to my job, where there will also be opportunities for my fiance to get a new job. May I suggest you look for a job outside the general area where you live or that you move to a larger town. If your boyfriend isn't interested in moving with you then try a long-distance relationship or even ending the relationship.
PrissyLilBadAss PrissyLilBadAss 8 years
You're not alone. I felt that same way about 2 or 3 years ago. My job sucked and I majored in math, which is REALLY hard to get a job with. Employers want something more specific like business or stat, but definitely not math! So I took a low paying job, worked my ass off, and proved to my firm how valuable I was. Valuable enough for a $15k raise! My advice to you, is not to expect that you can just jump into a high-paying job. Instead, find something you're interested in with room for growth, start at the bottom and work your way up! Prove your intelligence and job loyalty and you can go really far!
fab4 fab4 8 years
I agree with everyone so far. Going back to school is a great way to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. You'll be getting an education, hopefully going to a school in a different location, and creating better job opportunities. I agree with callmehomey on the fact that to make something happen...you have to do it yourself.
callmehoney callmehoney 8 years
you need to get out there. jobs aren't going to find you. you have to find the jobs. dont make being in a small town be your excuse. if you want something to happen...you have to make it happen.
andaman andaman 8 years
One Word for you "TRAVEL". Take your man with you and explore the world together. Save up and do that. When you are back you will know what to do!
calibabi calibabi 8 years
i was feeling the same way...stuck in a terribly boring (and low-paying) job, no kids, living in a small town with nothing to do. i had a 3.44 in my undergrad, and was scared that i wasn't going to be able to get into any great graduate schools. but i decided to try, and now i'm starting school this fall! i purposely chose a university out-of-state, so i could experience new things, make new friends, and get out of my rut. just knowing that i get to go back to school is already making my life feel a little more fulfilled. so basically, i would suggest taking a risk and going back to school. maybe your bf will go with you if you want to leave?! if you have the time and the interest to get a master's, now is as good a time as any!
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