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I Found Pictures of Another Girl on His Computer

"I Found Pictures of a Girl on His Laptop — What Do I Do?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I went to a party last weekend with several of his colleagues. He was responsible for taking the photos, so he took a lot of them that night. During the drive home, he asked if I thought a certain girl was pretty. I said yes, and he said that all the guys at work were crazy over her, then he confided that she had a bit of a crush on him before we got together. I thought it was a bit odd to say but appreciated his honesty. I joked around with him, saying, "Oh, should I worry?" He laughed and said he only has eyes for me. 

Today, I was on his laptop and noticed that he has several pictures saved on the desktop. Most of the pictures are of me, his mom, and random items, but three of the pictures were of that girl from that party. Now, he took over 70 photos for that event, but the only ones that were on his desktop were the ones of this girl — and she was the only person in each photo. I trust him and I know that he would never cheat, but it makes my stomach knot up thinking that he had these photos on his desktop. I will definitely bring this up to him, but I'm not sure how seriously I should be taking this. What do you think?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously on Group Therapy for advice and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Lauren3172450 Lauren3172450 3 years
I just had a very similar situation. My boyfriend is a personal trainer and he hired a female trainer to work for him. My best guy friend told me he thought she was hot. When I told my boyfriend this, he said he didn't think she was and even put her down. But...then the next day, my boyfriend showed me his laptop where he had searched on google images for this girl and saved all the images he found on his desktop. When I told him that was weird he gave me the excuse that he saved them all to show me and he would delete them.Some of the images were a little slutty too.   Then my boyfriend started working weekends and late nights "training" this girl about his business and then a week later he broke up with me claiming he's never been on his own and it wasn't about anyone else...but a few days later I caught him with this girl (we lived next door to each other) and he admitted they're together.   So....long story short, if your gut is telling you to be concerned, go with it. It's really odd that your boyfriend would only save her pictures and not of anyone else at the party to his desktop. I trusted my boyfriend too and even encouraged him to work with this girl. He later claimed he broke up with me because I got jealous and he couldn't be with a jealous person....and all along he was into the girl so I had every reason to be jealous and to question him on it.
henna-red henna-red 3 years
It seems to me that you're doing exactly what you need to do....adressing the thing that makes you uncomfortable. I expect that he feels very complimented....she's tickled his ego, he's reacted/repsonded to it in a way that distresses you. If he keeps photos of people who are important to him, which is what you're saying, then she is, in some way, important to him. It's so easy to be attracted to someone who has expressed attraction for you....nothing is more seductive than someone's admiration or expression of attraction. So just follow your intuition, as you've said you will do, and be very honest about what you feel and why. Tell him that his response, in the form of the photos, has made you uncomfortable. I would also suggest, that if this young woman has been able to make such an impact on him with her admiration, then he is, at this moment, in some need of admiration and appreciation. Let him know, with your words and actions, that he is valued, and desired and that he doesn't need to look elsewhere for affirmation of his attraction to the opposite sex. If he is in need of attention....give him some attention :) fun and fulfilling for the both of you. take care, OP
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