This question comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!
I'm 23 years old, and I was seeing this girl in a sexual relationship. I specifically told her it would be nothing beyond physical, because I am traveling overseas for Graduate School (that, and I did not like her anything beyond that). I decided to break it off, but before I could, she told me she was pregnant. Obviously, this was unexpected (she was on the pill, although I was stupid not to use a condom as well). I know this is going to make me sound like a bit of a monster, but I really have no feelings for the girl. In fact, since then I have come to not like her at all, and even if it is from me being upset at all of this, the best I will ever be able to do is be ambiguous about it.
Read the rest below.
The real problem is me going away. She has decided to keep the child, which is her choice, and is due in December. By that time, however, I will be overseas for another 9-10 months, and then work (most likely military) will probably not be anywhere near where she lives. I have no feelings for her, but this child is tearing me apart inside. I grew up in a very loving and stable 2-parent household, but know I cannot give the same to this child, since I refuse to give up my career and have no feelings for the baby's mother. I know that I can help support the child financially, but that was never the issue. It is quite possible that I may not even be in the area for the next several years. What can be done? I just feel like I am doomed to be a "dead-beat" dad, even though I feel like I don't want to be. Please, no "just man up and stay there" comments. Doesn't help. I have a career, and I love it, and I refuse to stop what I love for the next 18 years to do a miserable job.
Second thought: There is the slight chance that I may move back to the area if work allows it. My second thought goes back to the girl who is having my child. She is a nice person, but I really just don't like her all that much. If I do move back and get to see my child, do I owe her anything more than just pretending to be friendly?