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I Have the Holiday Blues

Sunday Confessional: I Have the Holiday Blues

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

Here's a confession: I am starting to loathe the holidays. All of the family get togethers squeezed into a 2 week period, with the same conversations year after year.  The forced happiness and excitement over gifts that you would never use, the crazy traffic, the list goes on and on. I tend to be a low key and somewhat introverted person and the holidays just seem to bring out my need for solitude. I find myself dreading family parties, and being happier when it is all over. Does anyone else feel like this? Any advice?

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katialoves katialoves 5 years
i can assure you that you're not the only one who feels this way. for me drinking 1 or 2 glasses of wine does help a lot. also don't feel obligated. learning to say no is very liberating. and if you decide to say no or go on a trip as suggested, you could write best wishes to those who you think missed you afterwards (assuming you see them only at the holidays?)
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
I think we all all socialized to believe that the holidays are the one time of the year the family issues are buried, and we are all supposed to be ecstatically happy to be together. All of the movies and retail make it seem that everyone is filled with love and joy and happiness to be together.I am fortunate to have a family that I love, but did not go home for the holidays this year, and spent it with friends, and it was very nice, actually. I saw family at the beginning of the month, but did not fly back again...it made me realize that while it is nice to try to make some effort for the holidays, to me it is more important to keep in touch throughout the year. Too much expectation is put on these last two weeks of the year.I agree with the poster that you should spend time with the family, but let yourself off the hook about the guilt. Rent Home for the Holidays, a movie with Holly Hunter and Robert Downey Jr., and I think it will make you feel better!
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
I think we all all socialized to believe that the holidays are the one time of the year the family issues are buried, and we are all supposed to be ecstatically happy to be together. All of the movies and retail make it seem that everyone is filled with love and joy and happiness to be together. I am fortunate to have a family that I love, but did not go home for the holidays this year, and spent it with friends, and it was very nice, actually. I saw family at the beginning of the month, but did not fly back again...it made me realize that while it is nice to try to make some effort for the holidays, to me it is more important to keep in touch throughout the year. Too much expectation is put on these last two weeks of the year. I agree with the poster that you should spend time with the family, but let yourself off the hook about the guilt. Rent Home for the Holidays, a movie with Holly Hunter and Robert Downey Jr., and I think it will make you feel better!
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 5 years
I like Gregs idea. I don't think drinking will help. Alcohol is a depressant. If you cannot afford to get away to a tropical isle during the holidays, do something you love like go see (or watch at home) a movie or go volunteer somewhere. You'll be doing something worthwhile & gain an entirely new perspective. Most people don't admit it, but the holidays are full of hype and false expectations. Keeping things simple helps. Start your own traditions, even if you don't have a family of your own yet.
BrownEyedBabe BrownEyedBabe 5 years
I know it sucks but think of all the people who don't have a family. It may be a pain but luckily you only have to do it one time a year. I hate holidays too because it reminds me that I don't have a family. My father has been dead 17 years, my brother wishes I were dead since the day I was born, and I could never do anything right according to my mom. I will be spending my holiday home with my cat or at the movies. Just have a drink, don't stay long, and remember these people care about you!
GregS GregS 5 years
That works. Or take your vacation during that time, and go someplace far away. Like a cruise or visit another country or something.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
I would suggest drinking, as long as you're not the driver. It'll put you in a better mood and may even make you more talkative.I think a lot of people feel that way. I have a small family but when the ex and I were together his 40-person family Christmas parties overwhelmed me... honestly getting my merry buzz on helped a lot.I know it makes you miserable, but you're making your family very happy by being there. Maybe you could find one or two relatives and focus your attention only on them, maybe getting some quality one-on-one time will make the holidays more pleasant.As for the traffic and the gifts you don't want... traffic is equally terrible for everyone and you can drop the gifts in the Salvation Army box.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
I would suggest drinking, as long as you're not the driver. It'll put you in a better mood and may even make you more talkative. I think a lot of people feel that way. I have a small family but when the ex and I were together his 40-person family Christmas parties overwhelmed me... honestly getting my merry buzz on helped a lot. I know it makes you miserable, but you're making your family very happy by being there. Maybe you could find one or two relatives and focus your attention only on them, maybe getting some quality one-on-one time will make the holidays more pleasant. As for the traffic and the gifts you don't want... traffic is equally terrible for everyone and you can drop the gifts in the Salvation Army box.
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