My ex and I have been together for three years. We just broke up a little over a month ago and I saw him for the first time the other night. He came over to drop off some of my things and we got to talking. Long story short we ended up hooking up that night. It was fine for me because it was passionate but I didn't feel any of my old feelings so it was just one last fun night.
After out hot and heavy session, he told me he still has feelings for me and that he still loves me. I don't know what to do because I really care about him as a friend and I don't want to hurt him. How should I tell him that I don't want to get back together with him if he brings it up? Movin' On Missy
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Dear Movin' On Missy
You have to be honest with him. If you do care about him as you say you do, then you really owe it to him to tell him how you really feel. You're ok moving on, he's the one with the broken heart. If you've ever had a broken heart, then you know it isn't fun. But by hooking up with him, you've given him hope, don't let it drag on.
You should be worried about his feelings. Tell him that you are not romantically interested in him anymore, and be clear about it. Don't be surprised if he doesn't want to be friends. He'll need some time away from you to get over his feelings. You guys may be able to be friends at some point in the future, but that will be up to him.
If you've never had your heart broken, then take it from someone who has: as painful as it can be, better to hear the truth and get on with your life than to prolong the inevitable.
While I am not suggesting that this is the case, the worst, most selfish thing that one can do in a situation like this is to string the guy along because you like his company, have no one better just yet, or because it is flattering to have a guy who wants you.
Do the right thing.