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I Made My Bed

Dear Sugar
I had been dating my boyfriend for nine months, almost exactly, when I made a stupid mistake and cheated on him. He was perfect in every way and I still to this day have no idea why I did what I did. It was a drunk stupid mistake, but the damage was done.

I told him the next morning and he broke up with me and called me every name in the book - dirty, disgraceful, etc... Even though I know I deserved his harsh words and I bought my ticket and now I have to take the ride, they were still hard to swallow. After a few months apart, he told me he wanted to give our relationship another shot.

I was so excited and relieved that he was willing to forgive me, but I am having a hard time forgetting all his harsh words. Do you have any advice to overcome my hurt feelings from his behavior? In the Wrong Wendy

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear In the Wrong Wendy
This is tough. It sounds like your boyfriend really loves you if he is willing to give you another chance. You have to remember he said all those harsh words when he was upset and hurt, and he probably wanted to make you feel the same way. That isn't to say it was right, but it sounds like his emotions got the best of him.

Cheating is a huge blow to the ego so it is not surprising he lashed out at you. The bigger issue here is why you actually cheated. Obviously there was something lacking in your relationship, so before you get back together, have a talk with him and make sure that you make the appropriate changes in your relationship so you will both be happy.

Since he is willing to forgive you and leave the past behind him, you have to make the decision if you can do the same. Take things slow and if you still can't get his words out of your head, take that as a sign that this relationship might not be right for you.

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