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I Want Another Woman's Boyfriend

Group Therapy: I Want Another Woman's Boyfriend

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Don't get me wrong. I would NEVER ever do anything to come between them or let my feelings be known in any way while they are together. In fact the ironic thing was that if he were to show any interest in me at all while in a relationship with his girlfriend, he would lose all appeal to me. We've been friends for a few years now, and even though the contact has been sporadic, on some level I've always had feelings for him that I was too chickensh*t to admit even to myself.

I don't think the feelings are only on my end either, as one time he got drunk and told me that he loved me, and that my boyfriend at the time was a jerk (he was and I'm sorry I never told him I loved him back out of my displaced sense of loyalty to my douche of an ex). This was a long time ago, so his feelings might have changed, but it's a memory I have really clung to. He's recently started a relationship with a woman and for some reason it's all I can think about, which I find strange because I was never like this when he was seeing his last girlfriend. I think it might be because this one seems a bit more serious, and I'm really uncomfortable about it because I have always felt like he was someone I could really end up with if there was less distance between us (I'm a student and he's in the military and based a loooong ways away).

I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to calm down about this. I don't like that I'm having feelings for another woman's guy, and I especially don't like that his month-long relationship with this girl has me convinced that all hope is lost for me, and they will be married and live happily ever after while I adopt dozens of cats and die alone in a hideous tracksuit.

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