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I Want More From Friend With Benefits

Group Therapy: I Want More From My Friend With Benefits

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've been seeing a guy for one year. It started out as a booty call then has changed into friends with benefits. Now I have some feelings for him. I told him that I was starting to like him. He said he likes me too but we both feel that we don't want to be in a serious relationship so we agreed to keep hanging out. I found out that he's been talking to his ex-girlfriend from four years ago and he tells her he loves her and only wants to be with her. He is even visiting her for a month (she lives out of state). He lied to me about it and said he's going on a road trip with his buddies. He doesn't know I know this though. I'm confused about our situation. Is he just playing me? I don't expect to be serious with him but the thought of him lying to me and being sweet to another girl irks me. His actions are suggesting that he's a player. I've been wanting to stop seeing him but I'm attached.

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kingmandingojpn1 kingmandingojpn1 4 years
yep. he using u, know on second thoughts, u using yourself.
raymonddempsey raymonddempsey 4 years
Sex has a way of creating very strong relationships. Sometimes these relationships are out of sinc, sometimes very seriously out of sinc.
Gabriela-Une-Vie-Saine Gabriela-Une-Vie-Saine 4 years
Drop him drop him drop him. I know how much this hurts, having been in similar short-term situations myself, but he clearly doesn't want the same things out of your relationship that you do. Find someone who's crazy about you- every woman deserves it :)
testadura67 testadura67 4 years
He's lying to you. That in itself is all the reason you need to end whatever kind of relationship you have. If he loves someone else, you don't want or deserve to be his back up. You also have to consider what/who else he may be lying to you about. Might not be a bad time to get tested.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 4 years
"Is he just playing me?" yes. "I've been wanting to stop seeing him but I'm attached." detach yourself. cut your losses and move on.
pax4pax pax4pax 4 years
A booty call can go on with a guy, but, usually a woman feels a connection, as you do. Not so with him -- you are used for mutual masturbation and he finds a woman who respected her feeling enough to build a relationship built on them rather than built on aphysical service. Forget him and start over.
lcrox07 lcrox07 4 years
I think perhaps those feelings he has for you are feelings of fear. Fear of losing you as a friend with benefits. It sucks, but people will say anything sometimes just to try to get someone in bed, especially if the sex is good. You should start to move on before the feelings get deeper, and maybe settle down into a relationship? Worth the try.
Raynne413 Raynne413 4 years
You can't be too upset since you aren't actually in a relationship. And how do you KNOW that he's going to see her, and NOT going on a road trip with his friends? I agree that you should start finding someone else to date.
mnp mnp 4 years
FWB is tricky. Technically, he is your friend so he could chat up his ex and see her as much as he wants. Since you don't want a serious relationship from one another, you can't expect any commitment from him. // I agree with missmaryb and chibros about forgetting him entirely. Maybe he'll see what he missed out from being with you? But most likely he won't because he seems to be using you as a filler in between the times he sees his ex. //
chibros chibros 4 years
I wouldn't say he is using you since its a mutual agreement between you both. If he's stopping you from metting other guys as well, that's where i'll say, its unfair. He might like you but he still have his first priority ex. If you can work out things to be his first priority, things might change to better. For now, either you forget him totally and look for better man or you can choose to keep him while reducing the intimacy part of the friendship and date other guys till you find someone better one to be with.
missmaryb missmaryb 4 years
Yes, sadly I believe he's using you. He's not being very open and honest with this other girl either. I think you should cut your losses and find a real man, one who knows how to treat a woman. Good luck.
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